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It's An Invitation

Posted : 4 years, 6 months ago on 13 February 2013 04:08 (A review of Magical Mystery Tour)

The Magical Mystery Tour is truly special.

I notice that I listen to it alot.

It makes the feelings of sadness travel far away.

It's rather nice, yes, but it's also.... truly special.

I like "Pet Sounds". "Pet Sounds" is like a full day, (and sometimes, more than once in a row, lol....).... "Magical Mystery Tour" is like a train ride beneath the ocean.... where will it take me?

I think I know.

They don't like him, (know him), the fool on the hill....

But he is, truly special....

I wonder where the Magical Mystery Tour will take me?....

(*coughsovietunioncough*)

(10/10)


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All You'll Ever Be

Posted : 4 years, 6 months ago on 7 February 2013 06:37 (A review of Sometimes in April)

"I am still today a solider, and only a solider."

Who said that? No, really, pretend that you're in school, and that this is a pop quiz. Who said that?

Was it, Clint Eastwood? (Imagine him saying it.) "I am still today a soldier, and only a soldier."

Was it, Brad Pitt? (Imagine him saying it.) "I am still today a soldier, and only a soldier."

Was it, Hugo Weaving? (Imagine him saying it.) "I am still today a soldier, and only a soldier."

Was it.... Peter Jackson? (Imagine him saying it to one of his personal aides, as a joke.) "I am still today a soldier, and only a soldier."

But, actually, it was Ernst Roehm, the German fascist.

Whoops. Sounded kinda like a clever action movie line, until I put it like that, didn't it.

But, you know-- they were all white. What would it sound like if a *black* man said it....

Yes, indeed.

Maybe when a man glorifies assassins, he is also an assassin.

Isn't that the *bloody point* of a piece of art like this?

And all you people trying to mindlessly bully me-- well, it hasn't convinced me that you're not a brownshirt, so.

You are a fascist when all you know is violence, when you are still a killer, and only a killer-- and when that is all that you're ever going to be. And, eventually, you turn into an animal-- like Hannibal Lector.

If you are a man, and not an animal, then how can you not treat other men as people?

Isn't that the point, of something like this?

And you are healed from it, only when you stop taking joy from the blood.

Not when you snarl at someone for speaking the truth, piling up evidences against yourselves-- more evidences, still.

It is hard to give a piece of art like this a definite rating, the way that I normally do-- and I always try to be very definite and precise about the rating, the ranking.... and just because some people don't notice this, doesn't mean that it's not true.

And perhaps the only really meaningful description I can give of it-- although the usual tags that I use, this time, 'Drama', and 'Drama: War', (you see: 'war' is a kind of 'drama', and, therefore, a sub-heading beneath it? You give people technical descriptions, and that is too technical, you talk to them about themes and characters, and that is not technical enough-- well, maybe it is because all that satisfies them is *blood*, and nothing else!)-- is 'anti-fascist'.

Some things are anti-fascist, and others are.... casting for Schnicklgruber, basically.

So, that is my perspective on something like this.

I mean, I know how much I didn't like watching it, but, then-- there's the truth of it.


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Republic of Aliens

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 5 January 2013 05:42 (A review of The X Files )

"How to talk to girls in college".

How to talk to the fucking rats gnawing their way through the grain bags on the slave galley. I asked you about girls, and you tell me about the place where the women's mafia hangs out?

*choking to death*

Keep it down, 'your mom'. God.

Have fun without me, hope you learn how to count or something, you fucking morons. I know that you gave up ballet when you were about seven-- your first educational failure, the first of many to come-- but maybe you'll become a lawyer or something. An ugly, barren lawyer who snarls at everyone and who hates everyone, and who nobody likes.

Have fun with that. Represent our morbid culture-- impress everyone. Get into one of those gangster movies. Shoot 'em up, bitch, shoot 'em up, shoot the bitch, the ones you don't like, bitch, and stay far the fuck away from me-- you hypocrite nazi.

Even the Jews don't act like that, fucking false god's oppression or no.

Oh, and remember to put all that ugly fucking makeup on your face, you fucking racist, before you go into the one of those gangster movies, you know, the one set back in the days when only white people could make movies so that you're sure to get the job, you dumb hypocrite racist bitch Emma Stone-- from Arizona! Guess that's why "she" snarls at 'em, eh, 'cause she's that racist from Arizona!-- racist bitch hypocrite! Don't forget your makeup! You won't want to forget to make yourself look *EVEN MORE UGLY* you dumb bitch!

Fucking hypocrite. God damn hypocrite.

Now, where was I.

Oh.

Is there an alien buried in the graveyard.

I guess that that wasn't on the town's list of approved reasons to dig up the graveyard.

Aliens are funny. If you do it right.

But all that I remember from this show is that dumb bitch who's like the fucking guest star bitch on that episode of "The Big Bang Theory" who tries to get Howard (the Jew) fired for no particular reason, except that she's married to a Marine, and so she hates everyone.

Aliens can be funny though.

You're thinking about things, and then....

aliens.

Like, how would you feel, right. If there was really an alien buried in the cemetery, right.

I wonder what the aliens would think of our difficult American women. All that I know, is that I want a Polish girl.

American.... Express. American.... Horror Story.

German.... Shepard. (lol.) German.... Translation.

Polish.... Women.

Playing word association with The Google.

Aliens can be funny.

Do they have Valentine's Day in Poland.

Do aliens have Valentine's Day.

The Republic of Aliens economy is based on: agriculture. Their chief confusion about our culture: why are our women so difficult.

Also, the aliens would like to know if that thing you have is really imported from Italy.

Also, the aliens would like to know how much it would cost to clean out their thetans.

Jerry Maguire: *smiling* I don't know; I'm just a sports agent.

Also, the aliens would like to know what John Lennon is really saying. Like, what does he mean when he says, Expert texpert, choking smokers, don't you think the joker laughs at you.

Also, the aliens would like to go to Macy's.

Oh, that's right, the aliens just want to get me fired, so they can have my job.

(Or Howard's.)

So, maybe I'll write a story about an alien who gets run over by a truck in Texas, instead of watching "Big Daddy".

The aliens are confused as to why anyone would be treated with such undeserved derision, when he was only trying to act decently.

Also, the aliens would like to know why that thing says 'imported from Italy' if it was actually 'made in China'.

Also, the aliens want to know why the government is watching them.

Also, the aliens want to know why were they so mean to Mozart, and why couldn't they just be nice to him and let him think.

These are questions that need to be answered.

Also, the aliens would like to ask a question about kobiety.

Also, the aliens would like to know if there is an alien buried in the graveyard.

The aliens are wondering how they could be less interesting than doing your chores, even post-mortem.

And the aliens have also been wondering why anyone would go out of their way to ask if you want soup, and then, say that you should get the soup yourself, even though, you didn't really want soup. You just wanted to make them happy, or whatever, instead of saying, Gah, I don't want your stupid soup.

And the aliens want to know why their show had to be even more boring than Doctor Who, and anyway, why did those sci-fi nerds have to pretend that this weird uncle was romantic and why did they have to screw everyone up, and why didn't they like the Beatles?

Were they trying to get the Beatles fired? The aliens would never do that.

.... The alien is trying to remember something, but they're making too much noise for him to concentrate. If only the alien were in an octopus's garden or something.

......

I'm so angry that I could scream.

(*Jonah Hill voice*, also known as Mark Volman from The Turtles*) I mean, what kind of a fucking sick culture acts as though somebody like that were *good*?

I don't think that I'd even listen to her cry. In fact, I think that I'd really fucking lose my temper if she did that. I would scream, I would yell, I would shout. So help me, get this piece of shit away from me.

And she should have had the guts to play the girlfriend in "50/50", because that's *where she belongs*-- that's *exactly* what sort of person she is. Poisoning the well for somebody else-- her sole 'talent'.

-- And so who had to play the fucking adult-- BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD, GOD, WHAT OTHER MOVIE HAS SHE BEEN IN LATELY.

And she dunks her head in enough cosmetics to kill a big, fat pig-- gold-digger HYPOCRITE. Apart from fucking *pettiness*, which she takes to a sort of infinity, hypocrisy is practically her *only* personality trait. Gold-digger-- HYPOCRITE.

And I'm not talking about Kim Kardashian.

(Oh, and the most unrealistic aspect of "The Help"-- Emma Stone's fucking make-up. God-DAMN hypocrite!)

(Makes Anne Hathaway look like a pleasant person by comparison, and a short-sighted person it takes to make such a blind bat look clever.)

No, I'm not talking about Kim Kardashian.

I'm talking about how I don't have any fucking pity for Hitler's fucking wife.... And especially since she acted like she could just *expect* my support, as though she could just ~ *assume* ~ it, as though she could just *demand* it.
*Damnable arrogant chauvinism, practically "British", or what they in Yorkshire in "The Secret Garden" called "Indian" manners-- the bitch of the empire, you know....*

Fuck you!

Drop dead!

.... I guess that the only good which could be said of our new Action Horror Hero, Artemis Hale, or *whatever* the fuck her name is, is that she could open Emma Stone's jugular, and nobody would bat an eye-lash.

'What?

You're a lawyer.

And I kill lawyers.

And anyway, I thought that you were my greatest fan--

You should be happy for me.'

Like when Mark Wahlberg shoots Matt Damon at the end of "The Departed"-- God, what a fantasy.

(1/10)


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How To Piss Off A Friend

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 28 December 2012 11:49 (A review of The Best of George Harrison)

Well, first you listen to a CD by his hero, and then....

Eh, it was alright.

Actually, this is my mom's CD; she always used to listen to this all the time when I was not *aware* of the Beatles. (In my defense, some of the stuff that she listens to is rather.... *coughcough*....)

So, yeah. The best of George Harrison. That's pretty cool.... I listened to the classic rock channel on TV the other day, (like, the music channels), and George Harrison's ("My Sweet Lord") was the only song that I really liked-- the other guys were kinda "classic" in the way that Henry Purcell is "classic". *uses artificial Irish brogue in his head for some reason* Oh, so you've never heard of Henry Purcell? Well, all that I know about him is that he's classic.... Oh, and then they had *David Gilmour*, *puke-y noises*, *thumbs down*, *Richard grabs Paul in the 'Come Together' video* *Paul shows the 'To HELL with the BEATLES' thing*....

Oh, and they had AC/DC too, (I'm still talking about that time I watched the Classic Rock channel on TV), and they're cool, but of course I like George better.

The best of George Harrison, that's pretty cool....

*You know, I really like that guitar solo he has in "All My Lovin' " in 1964, but....*

I guess that's a little different.

Oh, and "Something", that's a great song.

Abbey Road is a great album.

*devious, cruel, malicious giggle*

Oh, and "Here Comes The Sun" is only, like, the best song, ever.

(And if you listen to "Abbey Road", once you've got done with "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", and then "Here Comes The Sun" starts, you want to kiss George and kill John and whoever his stupid gf at the time was.... I mean, not that, you know what I mean, dammit....)

Although when he's part of the Beatles George doesn't do stuff like the "Taxman" song-- (*)

(*) Wikipedia: *snickering* Me: Shut the fuck up, Wikipedia, this is how it seemed to me....

George Martin: Hey Paul, George wants to do another song, wanna hear it?

Paul McCartney: By George! sure. Let's hear it.

George Harrison: (recording) I'm the taxman!.....

George Martin: (cautiously) Well.... that was good, okay, I think.

Paul McCartney: *shakes head* I don't write all the songs, but we'll do one of John's instead of that.

George is still alive somewhere, though. And he used to be a beatle. ^^

.... Oh, and in the "Come Together" video, ("a brotherhood of man", lol), the guy assigns the second stanza to George, and I think that he does everything in that video right.... Mr, Scott Smith! A black man! From America, probably. Like Eddie Murphy! Eddie Murphy loves the Beatles. You have to watch "A Thousand Words", you know. Actually, George would like that movie, wouldn't he. "All that I have to offer you are my words.... and this snow-globe from the airport." Anyway: (and this was actually one of John's, of course, it's a very "John-like" song-- that's what George said about "I Want You", and it's very true....)

He wear no shoeshine
He got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger
He shoot coca-cola
He say, I know you, You know me
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free.

Oh, no, wait.... I was going to say something to piss him off.... What was it....

Well, anyway, it's George.

.... Oh, wait, I was going to say that he's the greatest guy named George, (the greatest George, out of all the Georges), and that he's the greatest English Hindu, ever.

And if you get a go of random grab-bag rock guys, and you get George Harrison, then, you won.

But, seriously, saying that you don't like taxes is a stupid thing to write a song about.

Taxes have been instituted for your own good, George, by John Lennon, propagandist extraordinaire. Stop rebelling George, (*coughgrowupcough*), don't be a dark horse, and just accept that John and I are trying to help you-- we have your best interests at heart.

Love is all you need; all you need is love.

But at least George doesn't watch 'Battlestar Galactica' the way that some teenagers do-- My Sweet Lord, dear me....

.... Oh, but do you know what was *really* George's BEST moment, IMO--

In the "Can't Buy Me Love" song-- actually written by McCartney, although it seems like a super-John song to me, but, anyway-- in the video, right, and then run around across the field like schoolboys, and then at the end, the boffy old Brit is like, Gah gah gah, I hate you, I hate everyone, you're on my field, you're on my land, I kill you!!! And so they run away--

.... but then, GEORGE, says--

'Sorry we hurt yur field, mista.'

George Harrison.

I guess I like Paul the best because I like the early Beatles the best (for certain reasons), *almost*, at least-- their late sixties stuff is of course better, as well. But Paul changed very slowly and modestly, and in a different sort of way, somehow, than, well, John, obviously, or George, who was obviously like-- Yippee! I'm gonna change so much! Screw you Jersey, I'm going to California! (I'm from Jersey, so that's my analogy.) Whereas Paul just got a *little bit more cosmopolitan*, *and that's all, really*.

So, you know, it's all a matter of personal taste. (Paul is the best.) {After all, that was the whole point-- to quote the American band, 'wouldn't it be nice if we were older', Paul just got a little older, that's all-- but he didn't really change. He just got more cosmopolitan. And that was the point.... and the point of the Beatles is to be like Paul, IMO, not really to be an Indian tennis player or something.... I know, I'm mean.}

And then, yeah, George was like, Yippee! I'm George Harrison! All things must pass! (Which is why the Beatles are so funny, they're like everyone, only better-- all people like George are like that, (only not as good sometimes), George is the "quiet" beatle, who *used to be* a student, and he's that little rebel, right-- not John, John is the propagandist, the master Swiss chocolatier of revolutionaries, he's like *coughoneofthoseguyscough*, only he's a *real guy* who's actually human and he's actually a real person and he's actually a Libra and "It's only me, (your friend), John Lennon. All you need is love, (hahaha, master propagandist at work, *only not really*)."....

George is like that-- when he has the beard he looks like a cartoon villain, *only not really*, he's the dark horse, the *rebel*, the *quiet* one, who's *actually* an intellectual-- you think of John as being that, but he's really not, intellectuals are not really like leaders, except sometimes they're rebels*, and George is *actually* that rebel, (except not really, the Beatles are all good), who *actually* (but not really) wants to snatch that something and topple that guy John off his throne-- like any good cartoon villian, he's oppositional. Cartoon villains are not like Paul McCartney. And all people like that are like George, (in a way)-- the third guy, you know, that's kinda what it always is. Like, it's never Ringo. Ringo's just happy to be in the band. But with George it's like, oh no, I could be so much better, (I could have it so much better), if it weren't for these bastards my friends. In a way, he's like the first indie guy. (Except way better than the indie guys, any of them, because he's still a Beatle.) And that's why there are George people, you know-- "Living in the Material World", "George is my favorite Beatle", "George is the best Beatle", "George is the best Beatle". Some people are like George.

That's what I think, anyway.

Although it was actually McCartney, right, who broke up the band-- although I can never get over the fact that my idiot father made it sound like it was because Lennon got shot, even though that was ten fucking years apart-- because it was *time*. Let It Be. It's Time.

The time has gone.

And also I think that Paul was tired, honestly. It's funny, because it's not like George, but it just ends up being a little similar, from a totally different way.

(And it is funny, George did stand in-between Paul and John, right, when they were actually playing, whether it was for Ed Sullivan or Sgt. Pepper.)

I think Paul got tired of being in the band. Paul was the only guy like Paul in the band. (And he was the only one who knew how to shave, for one thing, hahaha.)

Kinda like how Penny is the only one who's like Penny on "The Big Bang Theory", or even, that Cinderella is, sometimes, at least, the only one who's like Cinderella among all the Disney princesses. (Think Mulan-- she's more like fucking John Lennon or something, right.)

[~ And on the list of the best, classic, lit, of the girls, who is like Jane Austen, except for her-- the rest, would hate her, actually, because she's the best and the one most worth having.... and in the Bennet family, who's like Jane except for Jane.... but yet the girls would all be like her, except they all have some problem or another....]

[And Penny hugged Raj because she felt bad about something, and Wolowitz hugged Raj to feel Penny's perfume-- you can learn from that show, but it's so easy to get fucking tired of those losers, that I prefer to learn from the real masters, the Beatles.... even though Famous Sheldon and his friend are vaguely like the two air signs, and the two other guys are vaguely like the water signs, (and Penny is vaguely like an actual girl, and an actual girl would listen to the Beatles or something), and everyone is like the Beatles, except that most people aren't as good, or else they're so bad you can hardly tell *who* they're like. Most people are like somebody, though....]

Even though, in an entirely different way.

[~~ And when Paul *did* have a beard, ("Hey Jude", and "Let it Be"), it looked *perfect*.]

And I know I sound mental, but what's the point of being a Beatles fan if you can't sound mental when you want to.

(And you know that it's the best band, with the best name.)

And George Harrison was part of the band-- he absolutely was.

Hey George, don't make it bad.

Because you know what-- Jude was a man, wasn't he. Everyone thinks they know the Beatles, even Paul Rudd's guy in "Dinner for Schmucks", but you don't know the Beatles, IMO, until you know that Jude is a man, and Paul was singing that song as his advice to a *man* that he knew.

And, if you notice, all that Ringo had to do that day was show up and dance, (and of course he was still in the band), because in that song, Paul's famous song, where he's the older man talking to the younger man and giving him advice, there's no drums, you know, just piano-- Paul playing the piano, which they sometimes call the piano-forte (soft-hard, in Italian).

And you know that George, in a way, did more than just show up an play the guitar that day.

So maybe that was his greatest thing ever, since that is the greatest song ever.

But, anyway.

'Sundays on the phone to Monday; Tuesdays on the phone to me.'

...........

I find some of my pet obsessions to ease with time. George is great. He's not my favorite, but, he doesn't have to be.

(9/10)


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The Snobby Review

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 28 December 2012 08:06 (A review of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)

Why is this album, perhaps, *teh greatest album, of all the albums*. *does a circle with hands*. Well, children, let me tell you.

*How I Met Your Mother* Kids, it was the very end of December 2012, when you didn't even exist yet, when I decided to explain to you....

[~ He got, early warning.]

{But, first let me clear something up-- while it may be true indeed that 'all things must pass', it is *always true*, *no matter what*, that the *air signs* are better than the *water signs*, and that the water signs really *are* the 'junior partner(s)', as Wikipedia so snobbily put it, and that the talent-- even independent talent-- of the water signs are simply a sign of the great *depth* of talent in the band, since so they have *so much* talent in an absolute sense, even though they are more 'junior' in a relative sense *in the band*, and yet they are also *both of them*, *two of the greatest musicians*, *does a circle with hands*.....}

{And anyway, they didn't suppress them-- even Ringo got to do his own song, with his own unique water-sign voice-- {and George got a guitar solo in "All My Lovin' " in, 1964, I think....}-- {and I *almost* think that the early Beatles are the best-- at least after they got Richard and got on the Ed Sullivan show-- apologies to Best and Stuart, of course....^^}-- and that's why they did their own individual careers too-- so that George Harrison could stand in the water, right, so that everyone would *know* that he was a water sign, *just in case they didn't have Wikipedia* ....Isn't it ironic that you can ask Wikipedia somebody's birthday, and he doesn't guess why you want it? ^^}

[Even though it's wrong, I secretly hate George.... [*gets a vote from someone with a George picture about seven seconds later* "That's George, right-- thanks George. I actually love George."], [~ Oh, and anyway, George probably doesn't *think* that he's a Pisces, because he's Indian, so he can be whatever sign he wants, and he can even mis-spell "guitar" and people will think that he's *all the more* clever for it. ^^], although I'm not sure whether it's because of that documentary which was directed by the director of "The Departed", or whether it's just because he was a Pisces and all that.... well, and John was a propagandist-- all you need is love-- even though it's okay because he's the walrus and he's John....], {~And it's an agreeable thing to say, too-- Oh, sure, I'm a propagandist; I'll be whatever you want-- why not. Why, I love propaganda as well as the next man.... and he was a sweet guy deep down-- he was one of those Libra guys; you know how they are....]

Why is this the greatest album, perhaps, of the albums?

The cover art, silly.

Duh.

George Martin must have really set them up, you know.

And, aside from that, I don't know.

Every Beatles album is the best album ever, duh.

[~~ Yes, even "Magical Mystery Tour", which is actually the soundtrack of "Dinner for Schmucks" with Steve Carell and Paul Rudd-- and that's a (best movie ever) movie, and not a studio album by an English rock band-- wouldn't it have been funny if Stuart hadn't died, right, then they wouldn't have been *English*, they would have been Angl0-something, like One Direction, or whatever.... oh, what about the German guy, right, Voorman, or something, and John's wife was Japanese, right, and John was a propagandist, god, they were practically nazis-- not like One Direction at all.... [{*pocket watch* tutto.... necesitas.... e, amore, hahaha, je suis John Lenono.... hahah, ha. And doesn't George Harrison look like a cartoon villain, sometimes? (Not all the time.) It's the beard-- only Paul knew how to shave, lol.... But George is certainly the best (and greatest!) George, out of all of the Georges.... and George people are fun-- if everyone said that John was the best, people would just assume that they were all the same.}] Okay, I'm done now. I'm crazy! ^^]

[~~ But anyway, maybe this one really is the best album, if that's what people say. One of my friends thinks that Abbey Road is the best, but he's a schmuck, so he's probably wrong. Now I'm done. Have fun reading the rest-- the ending is pretty good, I think....]

.... And that's why Paul is the best.

.... And now, for other things, which the the best thing ever....

Yes, the Best Thing Ever....

*snobby conversation for many minutes, without music*

['Will you love me when I'm sixty-four?'.... And that's why-- that's why, Netherfield Park, and that's why, the ~ "English" ~ army won the war, lol.... and that's why, the Beatles. That's why. Wouldn't it be nice.... *oh god, you sick bastard, why would you do this to me*....]

.... And also the Beatles, children. Out of all the bands, the Beatles are the greatest band.

And when you grow up, and make a Beatles cover band, you must call it, 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'. So, it is written. So, shall it be.

And, yes, the air signs really are better-- and that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an Aquarius guy.

Or that I live in Jersey.

That's just the way it is, kids.

One day, when you grow up....

*dramatic/thespian* You will see that I'm right.

{Wouldn't it be nice.... if we were the beatles?}

(10/10)


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love is old, love is new

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 27 December 2012 07:52 (A review of CatDog)

This was a little weird and boring, yeah....

Although that's because dogs are stupid and wicked. Dogs suck. I hate them. I hate dogs.

I really don't like them. I go outside, and they bark at me, and shit. Even if they *know*-- they must know-- that they can't get to me, if they're behind a fence. Even they must know that much. But they bark at me just to piss me off, and I hate them.

So, it was a tough.... I forget how I meant to, say it.

But what are ya gonna do.

"Because the wind is high, it blows my mind."

And in a way it wasn't as fun as "Doug" and "Rugrats", (did they show them in that order?), which I guess were my first.... they were very popular with me, I liked them.... But, actually, even this kinda lame show didn't have some of the weird lame cynical (The Rugrats: "The 60s are over, and we lost! So just, get with the program!" That was my first exposure to this concept of "the 60s".... yeah.... that was a bad show.....),(and Doug was basically a sixteen year old who was born in 1934 and has been an annoying FDR aristocrat for, like, eighty-something years.... but don't tell him he's a vampire; we're not sure what will happen when he finds out, lol....), *cough*, stuff.... that, uh, other shows before it, especially, did have.

*hand gesture, left hand* Love is old, *hand gesture, right hand* love is new.

.... And this show was boring, but....

What are you going to do.

I hate you dogs.

We cannot all be French. ^^

(7/10)


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At Least I'm Not Cinderella

Posted : 4 years, 7 months ago on 27 December 2012 01:58 (A review of Mildred Pierce)

At least I'm not Cinderella.... pass the broom, hahaha! (Let's sing The Work Song!)

I'm not Cinderella, no.... I just like to work!

But I least I don't have to be happy! A-hahahaha!

Thank God for that, right? hahahahaha.

(Somewhat cracked.)

{But at least they filmed it wherever my mom's dad used to live.... *when* he used to live. Thanks, mom.

Gosh, what a jolly place the world used to be back in the 30s or whenever-- I want to watch more of these jolly historical shows with these jolly difficult people.

(Translation: I don't even watch "Downton Abbey", anymore, even though that show was pretty good.... I prefer "Abbey Road", though.)

BUT AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T HAVE CINDERELLA BACK THEN, THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING, RIGHT.}

[I mean, it's like in "Mean Mr Mustard", they want the sister-Pam chick to be good because Mean Mr Mustard is so bad, and it's hard to be against everyone at once, and anyway, there are pleasant decent people who have to deal with trashy evil relatives, {who are "good" because they're poor because they're dirty and unpleasant and mean as fuck to everyone, right.

But that's politics-- in politics, Mean Mr Mustard counts for way more than Paul McCartney, although I won't explain why because you can damn well figure that out yourself because you know, and anyway it's a terrible thing even to think of, so why explain what's already explained.

But it's hardly because chicks are never trash or whatever-- "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" is seven long, long, minutes of sadness and despair, and all because of some stupid idiot girl who's not even worth it.

[Some girls suck-- and even stupid naive idiot Disney-- right? Isn't that what you think?-- knows that, and that's why Cinderella has two stupid idiot girls as her sisters-- Drizilla and Anastasia, who make her work and work and act like bastards to her so that she has to work alot, and so on.]

So-- what I mean is, when they say that the Pam of the Mean Mr Mustard song is "a go-getter", they're saying-- well, a couple of things. First, obviously, that being a hard worker is better than being poor and trashy (and "pitiable", or something-- but not really anyway, if they're rude as fuck.) Second, it's sorta meant to *push* the guy so that he works instead of being miserable, so that he does at least as well as his bloody sister and she doesn't have to bloody worry about him anymore, you know.

Third, I mean-- and this is the especially relevant part:

When they're saying that Pam is a "go-getter", they're kindof implying that she's a good worker who does her thing and doesn't complain-- and so never causes grief to other people-- as opposed to Mean Mr Mustard, who just goes on and on and on about his fucking problems and causes grief to everyone because he doesn't care.

{And, yeah, if I were clever, I'd refer to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" or something-- " 'Maxwell must go free!'-- but the judge does not agree, and he tells them so-o-o-ooh." And the judge was actually right, since Maxwell was bad since he killed people and such, and 'Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery', 'Maxwell must go free', were bloody stupid and wrong to be supporting someone about as healthy and social as Mean Mr Mustard. Old man judge, on the other hand, was right. And now you know the difference between Paul McCartney and John Lennon.... whose songs actually tend to be rather different from each other, lol.... I mean, he called it a 'silver' hammer so that people wouldn't think that he was a fascist straight off for talking about hammers-- and when my idiot friend told me that his favorite Beatles song was something called "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", I had a little difficulty taking in at first that this was by --the English rock band, the Beatles-- and it didn't get easier at first, when I found out that it was one of Paul's songs.... but, yeah, basically the point is that, (well, as Paul said, difficulty comes on you unawares and for no apparent reason at all, let alone fairness, and also that) Maxwell is what you might call a video-game playing idiot-fascist and he's bad.... (but, yeah, by making it a 'silver' hammer and by making it a little unreal and cute like that, it stops it from getting you all bitter or something or wanting to kill someone straight off, because what use is bitterness and all that), and not everyone who has 'GOOD' labelled all over them, at first, at least, lol is.... 'ACTUALLY GOOD'. "Maxwell stands alone"-- for the irony, as though he were bloody Churchill or something-- "Painting testimonial pictures, oh, o-o-ooh"-- cynically, that is. "But as the words are leaving his lips, a noise comes from behind".... but try to get somebody else to understand the truth, and especially an idiot with a hammer or a demon child *of any sort*, lol....}

And this show, and shows like this, are kinda about going on and on about somebody's troubles and causing grief to anybody who gives a damn because they don't care.

Somewhere in there, I sense a sort of confusion of two very different types of character, a bad ability to judge character.... and general mediocrity, in my opinion.....

Oh, and it's based on a novel from *1941*. Wow, that was the same year as.... "Citizen Kane"! "Rosebud".... Yeah, whatever.

{Looks at the CD he's about to start playing, The Beatles, "Magical Mystery Tour". God this was a movie! A movie with the Beatles! GOD WHY HASN'T SOMEONE DONE SOME NEW THING ABOUT A MOVIE ABOUT THE BEATLES! Who doesn't want to dress up as Paul McCartney? I'm going to dress up as Paul McCartney at my wedding, and she's going to dress up as Cinderella.... OH MY GOD, AND STEVE CARELL PUT NOT JUST ANY BEATLES SONG INTO ONE OF HIS MOVIES, BUT A BEATLES SONG FROM A BEATLES MOVIE INTO HIS MOVIE. God why the fuck aren't other people fucking clever like that. No, really, *why* aren't other people clever like that. *does voice* 'Well, at least I'm not Cinderella.' The dumb bitch.}

{And that's why 30s liberals suck ass, because they don't know about The Fool On The Hill, do they, bitch. *throws gang symbol*}

{*listening to 'The Fool On The Hill', Momentarily loses power*. The gods love me so much, you guys. And especially Mercury, he would never play it sad like Maxwell.}

The original oldie film is from 1945, that was, at least, the year that "Stuart Little" was published.

Although in general I'm starting to get this sneaking suspicion that things that happened *after* the 60s were better than before, and, my, what irritating little noises people make when they hang on to their little woes from the past, just to hear themselves scream.

Even HBO glitter can't make that more than mediocre, especially since, for the all the new glitter, it's still a damn old thing they're doing....

Whining.]

(7/10)


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Barefoot in the 60s

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 24 December 2012 12:57 (A review of Abbey Road)

'Oh, so now you're inventing a boyfriend to get rid of me.'
'No. No, I'm not.'
'Well, okay-- what's his name then.'
'Ringo.'
'Oh, is his last name Starr?'
'No. McCartney.'

Dreaming of Paul, is she. ^^

"Got to be good-lookin', 'cause he's so hard to see."

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN-- THE BEATLES.

Come Together. Right Now....

.....

Beach Boy: Wouldn't it be nice....

John: No, it wouldn't be nice.

Paul: *scandalized* John!

(I'm amazed at how *literally* Wikipedia took the term "British Invasion"; some people never grow up.... [~~~ Although it is funny how they're English: 'BY THE ENGLISH ROCK BAND THE BEATLES'-- you see, guys, this is why you have to read Pride & Prejudice and play whist.... *annoyed* don't play bridge, no!], {~~~ opens up a sweater, American Eagle! Nice! Let's go watch football! You know, I was so happy when the Ravens beat the Giants, because of ODIN, and, besides, I'm from Jersey! the Octopus Garden State 0.0 .... that's like the ace of trumps! 0.o], and after going through so much, and to have nothing worse to say than the "Maxwell" song.... I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy.... Incredible.... And, yes, John is incredible good....)

{And "Here Comes The Sun"-- wicked good song-- it's funny, I didn't realize it was from "Abbey Road"-- of course on youtube you don't know where anything's from, it's a little lazy.... but I did know that it was with the beatles, of course, (something about the fact that John isn't in it (by chance) is funny, because you can see how far apart they walk sometimes-- *tragedy face* *comedy face*-- even though their shoes are the same color.... and, yes, Wikipedia, I am American, and I like the Beatles better than the Beach Boys, (who are cool, you know, and so is Pitbull and so is Gangham Stlye, lots of things are cool), so thanks for clearing that up....).... because, you know, "Here Comes the Sun", (sung in Hindustani, of course, LOL), I sorta know it from, or it makes me think of all those, *Hey everybody, now it's George; time for George everybody*!!!}

{You know, I never learned the names of the guys in Franz Ferdinand, {`Actually not the worst name or anything, "What you meant"-- *giant picture of the Archduke*, alliteration, average-good, but it was *almost bad*, and such a lonely octopus.... {although I had friends who were Indian-American in Edison, NJ; that's why I like The Beatles-- see below}, it comes from being neglected....} (let alone The Hives, I just remember they're from Stockholm or something), all that I remember is that the one guy has some kind of Greek name.... I don't know, anybody can lose to the best, but there.... a lot of things are almost boring, once you see something *really* good.... and not zumba music, but.... all that like, *look at me, I'm an indie band*.... God, this was almost a very short review.... you see how it could have been short, right....)

{And Richard wrote a song! Good job, Richard! Here, have a rock. Put it in the garden, man. You're awesome.}

{And you know, Paul wrote some damn good songs too.... I actually think that his songs are the best.... John's are also excellent.... and "Come Together" sticks in my head, because I heard it because of this (young) chick on youtube who had this Beatles bed (I do not-- I AM Paul.... according to.... my delusional magickal.... likeness) before I even knew who the Beatles *were* practically....

He got hair, down, to his knee.

(*not the same stanza* *whispers* One and one and one is three.)}

{*starts to play 'Abbey Road Medley', forgets which one came first in that* *nervously eyes mother making breakfast*

[MY MOM IS A PRETTY NICE GIRL.]

*oh, that's right.... I guess*

*fuck that's weird.... Led Zeppelin was pretty cool too....*

(* *imagines French voice for no particular reason* 'We too, have a John....' *starts laughing*)

(*okay.... I'm crazy* *remember the George doc* (George) 'So that, ("....corazon....") in the future, people won't have to go through this ignorance....')

*this time it's going to have to *work*, *though*....*}

[~.... You know what's funny, though, is that a whole album of rock music is as long as a.... symphony or something.... {Ryan the Gosling: Patience is important. Steve Carell: I had to be patient writing this really long report for work. Ryan the Gosling: Right. Good.}, [^^ Actually, that's why there are no Steve Carell movies from 2009-- The Beatles 2009 Stereo Remastered Box Set], [~! And also, seven out of his eight good movies are from after that-- 2010-2012 were the two/three years after 2009, weren't they?], you could listen to a three-four (maybe not a seven [UNLESS IT'S HEY JUDE]) minute rock song, like, twenty times, (nobody listens to a symphony twenty times in a row, lol.... although I think that I have listened to "Land" twenty times in a row, which is, like, sixteen minutes long.... you know, "Hey Jude", (not on this album), is actually my favorite song ever I think.... although "Land", or, actually, "Nehalennia", was sorta my favorite.... and my favorite movie is "Dinner for Schmucks", but it's also "Cinderella".... you see how wierd it is, comparing things....

John: I don't think that it's weird at all.

Paul: Oh shut up.

George: *to Baby Richard* *in an undertone* They're really going at it today, aren't they.

Ringo: Ringo! *has no idea what's going on*

George: It's pretty bad, though-- think of what might happ'n.

Ringo: Octopus! In a Garden!

Paul: *sighs* *starts to playing the drums* *starts playing the drums and the piano at the same time*

[~~ *Rob Schneider runs up to Ringo, nursing a wound on his side because sharks don't bite you* 'Hey, my buddy said that I was supposed to give you this pineapple.' 'Oh, thank you.']

[~~ 'She gets on him for the littlest things.' Well, we're not talking about Rob Schneider here, more like Ben Affleck.... And no, *step-mom*, there is no betting in whist.... poker is not the only game in the world, believe it or not.... nor football, not that there's anything wrong with football....]

[# And my newest relative, Jennifer Garner, is actually an important worker bee at some hoitey-toitey place where they play duplicate bridge, but no-one ever even taught them how to play whist, (until I just taught the lot of them the other day-- mom liked it afterwards even though she tried to guilt-trip me style dissuade me), and so she watches football, which isn't even bad.... and her father seems like a nice man, (honestly), from the fragmentary second-hand evidence that I've happened to receive, (I also know that Jennifer Garner-- by which I mean, "Jennifer Garner", obviously-- and her sister Susanna-- spelled without the 'h', I asked-- watch "How I Met Your Mother", and that they've felt like they're the only ones who watch it, (like I do), but I still wouldn't know how to cast them, either of them, not even Jen, who I've spoken to, more than once....), I mean, he's a nice, traditional man; there aren't really any actors like him.... he's not really like Martin Sheen, for example.... wow, Martin Sheen's only older than Ringo, that's not what I expected, somehow.... It's ironic, because I hate the sort of British Army Paratrooper In Belfast In 1972 sort of fiasco (an Irish-Protestant chauvinist-liberal, a real 70s child), (and "Ben Affleck" showed his his favorite picture of himself from when he was a kid-- which must have been from the 80s, because he couldn't have been much older than seven or eight, and, anyway, "Ben Affleck" is a real 80s child.... and did you know that his dad, the 70s child, lives on Lawrence Street? Really. I think that he works on Lawrence Street too, although not literally, and it's ever so much funnier when it's literally that it happens-- if you know what I mean), that unties the knots of tradition, I'd much prefer Jen's dad, (*cough, *to*, *cough*), but it's also obvious that I'd have a few, uh, disagreements, (and, without trying to sound *, it can be a little difficult to relate-- Sandy destroyed your other house, well.... that's too bad. I'm sorry), were I foolish enough to actually talk about myself, {although I did mention something rather clever about how TV shows are actually more like novels than movies in a way-- which I'm sure that you can sketch out for yourself now}, (such as my Norwegian taste in music, and my dislike of Monsignor Somebody who they flew in straight from the Vatican or somewhere),.... "Any Given Sunday"-- good thing that's football, eh? I honestly don't know what else to say.... since I wasn't planning on, well.... who does.... And, I hate to be really cruel, but that skit that Eddie Izzard did, "three generations of nazis", "Z, Z, .... I have no idea", really, really applies-- it also applied to fascism, {or "applies", rather-- we're ALMOST done with fascism, it's really in decline, I can tell now-- you can hardly even find people like that, anymore, unless they're fans of "Fallout", you know, the video game with the nazis.... I like dominoes), which is also bad, not least because the Beatles had to waste one of their songs explaining to their stoned fans that it wasn't good, *and it wasn't gonna work, you know*, it never works.... but, you know, also with that other thing, it's funny how funny this third & out generation is-- Oh, yeah, I still believe in that guy. You know, that god guy. What was his name again.... Not Adam Sandler, the other guy. Eh, it must have been Rob Schneider.]

[(£) *So help me, Frankie, don't bother me anymore.... right now-- whatever..... But, God, at least they gave me food.... they could have just shut the fuck up on the way home, that would have been better.... Yes, John, give it to me, give it all to me.... I WANT YOU.... (Right), Again, comparing to: the hairy, smelly old man, who's always pretending to be whatever the hell it is that he pretends to be, (and with nothing but the most mediocre, commonplace.... I know that, damn you, *don't talk like that*....).... and explaining things to his new girlfriend like he's re-enacting that scene from "Taras Bulba".... and, 'And there was that guy, he just kept talking and talking and carrying on about things in the most abrasive moralistic phony way, in the most obnoxious way....' OK MAN, THAT'S RIGHT, OK MAN, THAT'S GREAT.... Do these people listen to themselves talk? I do, if there's nothing else to be heard.... And then there's Uncle Stottlemeyer, who's weird to talk to, although he's very generous too, (and, honestly, with some of them, you just get *nothing* for that, if you follow, and he's not as bad, it seems to me, as some of those he vaguely resembles), and then there's "Ben Affleck", the true capitalist, who explains to everyone why you shouldn't want to work for other people, *apparently not thinking* what that sort of talk might mean to some, *nor indeed that some of us might wish very much indeed to work for somebody else*, ('Oh, I know all about that', *No, you don't, you hairy old man-- and you, encouraging them.... sometimes they are almost pleasant or something, but something about putting them in the same car together, it's code for-- 'put on the demon masks'), and (--"Ben Affleck"!) also wants us all to know, *earnestly wants us to know*, (like a caracature of George Costanza, whom I called, 'earnest-- very earnest, almost', but George is not in such a way as this), that he became wise because of how he saw one clip from one movie one time, because he saw it in a church.... and, like some Marxist caracature, like some impossible character out of a red nightmare, this would not apply to us, somehow, whose jobs are not so.... the Office of Working! He *works* for the Office of Working, wowo, wow.... I don't even know it all, anymore, I don't know, I don't know some of these people, I don't know what I'm telling you anymore.... and then there's the one that I ought to be grateful to, I guess, since he was clever enough to have a nice keyboard in his house, the decent old man.... 'OH YOU HAVE A DOG NOW', Yeah, for like ten years.... But if I have a question, the grinny goon here will answer it for me, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.... well, where's the paper.... here it is.... I thought it was going to be one thing about Jen's dad, and then I thought, and then I thought.... Well, anyway. (Jen's dad who wasn't there, btw-- I guess that there are only boys in our family, and not even girl's fathers, ('Oh, I can explain that'-- yeah, I'll bet you can, Unnamed Polish Aristocrat Jerk-off).... although the younglings have a gosling girl, Rose.... I wanted to ask if they'd started her off in ballet, although I suppose that you're not allowed or something.... I don't know.... I don't know.... She did have a zylophone-- I kinda wanted to try doing 'Blue Danube' on it, but.... you know.... Well, anyway.).... (And mean old Mr Scroozer was a good old song, part of the Abbey Road Medley, but there's something about the seven-minute music that.... there's no way to explain it.... *rock bottom*, *you'll know it when you get there*.... anyway.... Well, anyway.).... "Middle C-- 24 from the left", no that was the other paper, where's the other paper.... here it is.... ""--- (Steven Spielberg {~he only showed a few dozen corpses.... go see the movie!!!!.... him, and Movie Uncle, too.... Movie Uncle seemed so much cooler when I didn't know much about movies, or.... well....} is almost part of our family here....) I asked Ben if he was like Robert DiNiro {Robert De Niro-- but you know I couldn't have done all this from here-- I hope you know that, it was actually almost easy too, and I even almost didn't lose the pen, *people are moving couches back into place so that people will know exactly what it was like*, Ah.... I finally lost the pen.... you know that some of this, at least, had to be written there, it's hardly the same, I hope that you know that, I really do} once, as a joke.... I'm sure that he's not like, (yes, Dad, you are just like Denzel Washington: Space Marines voice-- "For manners! And glory!"), {see}-- Dustan Hoffmann, {Dustin Hoffman-- but they changed 'Justin' into Jason, as though he really were Jason Alexander or somebody, (and he's not that one, he's somebody else), and then 'corrected' it thusly-- Jason, NO, Ah.... Justin. There ya go, 'kinsman', of mine.... and at least Dustin Hoffman is only a metaphorical kinsman of mine, and, this case, mostly.... theoretical, I think. Dustin Hoffman wasn't playing an FDR aristocrat in that film, (although sometimes, it's more.... Eh, I'm just a crazy old man, I'm not your patriarch, don't come to me with your problems.... he did get us soda and stuff though.... it comes out bad, doesn't it....) not even one with a piano (and how many don't?).... and the rest of them.... count for McCartney: Zero (0).....}, {yeah.... *white noise*, *Oh, I'm gonna be playing this one alot to-nite, so that's why it just blanks out at the end like that-- I wish I could show you the ones that I couldn't even get out, they're not different, even, except sometimes with personnel, although people are not surprising even when different words are required.... but those aren't even different, just longer....}, {Clint Eastwood is like one pair, and Paul McCartney is like a straight royal flush that you get at the same time as getting a coupon for the pizza or something, and just because Paul doesn't make John feel like *this*..... I hope you know what I mean, I don't know exactly what, at times....}, {and I'm damn glad that Richard Starkey didn't end up being some goddamn actor in the 'Godfather' episode, that's for goddamn sure....}, {I kept saying, 'I want to be, Under the sea, In an octopus's garden, In the shade....'}, {I heard a funny story about the name 'Ringo' once, did I tell you that, the phony etymology, I couldn't tell it now, even if I wasn't worried about being one of them, ha, although, I know I'm not, but anyway}, {WHY is there so much fucking *garbage* in the world, GOD, doesn't anyone want to be *worth something*, and *why*, WHY, do I have to come back to this, fucking spider's lair.... *remembers something*, *Hermes pounds fist on tables*, Why! WHY!}, .... I just want to forget how to.... 'I want to be, Under the Sea, In an Octopus's garden, In the shade.'.... {I kept singing this part under my breath when he went into Baptist mode, because I know that he did.... I know....} 'He wear no shoe-shine, He got toe-jam football, He got monkey finger, {me: typing ^^}, He shoot coca-cola'.... {automatically: Just coke....}..... {it was a bumper-sticker-- Catholic prep, they used to just be Catholic-- that's how they're redeemed the days, I guess....} To, prep-are!.....
'Deacon Bob....' now *that* sounds like a story.... I'd rather not know.... The Bishop of Trenton.... is he a part of our family too? He must have married in-- it looks like it was all very official.... 'de officis'-- 'on duties' {that I'm not looking up, I've just thought about the title alot, is all....}.... ANYWAY. K.2 really is more like K2 (than a minuet) if you don't have Paul's self-teaching skillz.... *seven-year-old Wolfgang on K2.... (later) YOU HAVEN'T SEEN CINDERELLA YOU THOUGH YOU'RE A GIRL! I BET THAT EVEN ROBIN HAS SEEN CINDERELLA YOU CRAZY BITCH! {thinks: maybe.... yes, I think so, somehow.... it's hard to explain.... but somehow I know I'm right....}.... 'Yes, even in Canada.... Actually, the 50s didn't come to Canada until 1983.' I wish that I could explain my feelings. {see CAPS for example-- what you want to scream is usually what you just can't say....}.... counting keys playing 'Blue Danube'-- actually not that hard, as well as great-- one two three four five six seven All good children go to heaven.... I lost someone's pen-- good thing he has more.... {Dinner for Schmucks} 'Out of all the movies, *does a circle with hands*, this is the best one.'.... re: Cinderella, 'Oh, the cartoon movie', {you've been drinking too much, damn you-- you are no longer 'cool'!} NO THIS IS IMPORTANT. Damn you, worthless kinswoman.... {later}.... Wolfgand, your "German Dance" is better than all our American talk.... we must be a nation of lawyers! {I know-- thank Tullius deus that there were none in Berlin....}.... DANCING GERMAN BABIES....!!!!! {And anyway, that's why I don't like Anne Hathaway and all her miseries, and that's why I'm going to keep "Get Smart", even though I asked for a Steve Carell movie.... Maxwell's Silver Hammer made sure that she was dead, and I just don't need her fake manners.... I don't know what else to say.... What else?I did get some good stuff, more Beatles music that I asked for, stuff like that, the Carell-Rudd film DVD.... but, I've given up on Anne Hathaway, given up on forgiving her for the way she is-- whatever, that's all-- the thing's worth something at BestBuy, and that's all!.... Oh, and we're allowed to eat, since we don't like each other.... What else?.... Oh, I like (Steve Carell/The Beatles/Cinderella.... Freedom For Little Iraqis....).... What else? What else?Oh, and one of my aunts, a pretty woman, actually, funny how you don't notice things like that, didn't mention if she'd seen "Cinderella", but she did say that she'd seen "The Beauty and the Beast", in a way that confirmed one of my theories-- I don't know, but some thoughts just think themselves, (namely, that that's when they really started to give up.... I mean, I know things happened before that, too.... it's funny when you write it out, but when you think something, you know it's likely, and then you get something else, and, well, one and one and one is three, as they say....).... but, you know, at least she's got access to the complete master catalog of Steven Spielberg's works, or whatever.... God, I don't know what to tell you....anyway, she's Anne Hathaways' mom, except there are no girls.... there's one girl, but she's Anne Hathaway.... at least now there's Rose.... And I hope that Peter Pan is looking out for Rose and her dad and her mom.... Right, so the one aunt is Julia Roberts, conceptually, at least.... and the other is more like.... who was in "True Lies"? Well, she wasn't.... It's funny, I asked Mike about "Kintergarten Cop", not thinking that he was the chef.... Ah, God.... Angela is good.... Oh, wait, not.... Damn. This time I'm really going to stop.... Anyway, I know that I say "actor", "actress", etc., but I actually, really, don't like Anne Hathaway.... there's something.... there's something in her style that shows me.... I know it would be easy to say, Oh, you know, you're being too mean to "things that you like", but.... There's something that shows me that she's not as pretty as she likes.... There's just something in way she.... Yeah, I know, I'm messing up the song-- go fuck yourself, okay? It's important to be suspicious, especially with fucking suicides like Anne Hathaway. God damn that girl; she's always trying to kill herself-- Maxwell could be in Russia; she could find him; she's Bella. She's Julia Roberts. Sometimes you don't even find any more evidence to back you up-- you just know..... Oh, wait, MAXWELL-- there you go. Apocryphal Carell.... (*) 'I like Steve Carell; I like The Beatles; I like Jane Austen; I like sincerity; I even like cake; I'm going to go fill myself, and my soul, with cake.'.'.... I'D LIKE TO BE, UNDER THE SEA, IN AN OCTUPUS'S GARDEN, IN THE SHADE.'.... early in the day, I made a point of of playing "Here Comes the Sun", after "I Want You", and then afterwards, I had to listen to "I Want You", about seventy times, and my I'm on my second, I think, go around the actual album-- this is why DARE works; we don't need drugs anymore, which is good, because I'm afraid of, heights, even, like, the second story of the mall, you know.... God, I'm glad I never had to be back then, you know.... GOD AM I GLAD.... *walks up to random relative* *points to 'The Fool on the Hill'* *points to 'Dinner for Schmucks'* 'Hey, whatever, man.' *(no, goddamn you....)*.... *(you're as bad as that stupid girl "Anne"....)*.... and you know that the "best" movies.... Uncle Movie Guy Picks.... are always for the most ignorant people....}]

[##..... (the next morning at 5AM) (because the last "paragraph" wasn't long enough.... {*Beatles* *bleary voice*} He got to be a joker.... [I'm Jack Kerouac, okay? On the (Abbey) Road.... you know, I knew an Abby once; she was very fortunate.... Kindof like "Jennifer" (see below), except-- I did hug (this) Jennifer once, she was not unkind-- it's funny with very short girls, because you have to bend your knees to hug them properly if you're very tall like me.... I don't mind kneeling, though, so height isn't important to me, only that they be.... fortunate.... Emily Rose, (college), was actually rather very sweet though, and a pretty face is really all you need, as long as you're not a pukeface like Emma Stone, or someone whose name is secretly Drizilla....]) Did I ever tell you that I once knew, (though only by name, really), a girl named Emily Rose? (I think that I did, somewhere.) She once startled me so terrifically-- I was reading a book in the library-- that I actually fell over; it was very lucky, because it was Emily Rose who did it. {'It is the privilege of greatness to bestow supreme happiness through trifling gifts.' ~ F.W. Nietzsche. If you're not truly great, it costs money. ;)} I even got to talk to her, you know. I guess that she wanted to talk. It was pretty great.... Whenever I buy jewelry or something, I always hope that an Emily Rose or someone will be there to lead me around by the nose.... (I also write poetry).... Once there was this very sweet girl at the crafts girl, and I bought all her stuff, that I could, I mean, and it was very pretty, and then I gave her some of my gifts because she let me, (she laughed that I was her boyfriend for the day, and that was better than being startled and falling over for Emily Rose), {it was even better than being friends with Tony Tanner....}, and she was very good.... I gave some of the gifts to this very fortunate girl, (a waitress), whose name is defs not "Jennifer".... (She also got a poem).... And, so, you know-- Oh, this is alright.... Do you work? ('No.') We are American; this is always appropriate.... {And she was like she almost didn't want it or something-- not that waitresses don't like money, you know-- but it's really that no one can talk, unless they're running for political office, and then.... they really can't....} .... trust Ben Affleck to think that this the best Beatles song.... I mean, it's because of Ben Affleck, that he had to write it, you know.... It is an interesting melding of Hermes and Thor, though....]

[### And Dad was blathering about how runners used to not bike or anything, because that was just too diverse and not stiff enough, but I could have figured out what jackasses they were back then just by listening to him talk, you know....]

[^ It was a little bit like a nightmare.... You know how nightmares are sad.... With the meanie.... and the meanie is like *hands*.... Yeah. At least I practice things though. Different things....]

[(*) Just like Doctor Who.... that's what I don't like about Anne Hathaway.... Disney or Guiness-- both! Doctor Who!.... And Anne put on her best dress to show that she was "back", (And aren't we all "back", now, unless we're fake, like Doctor Who, (Uncle Jerry), or Anne (from Ohio)....), but I could not say yes.... As though she were "Ben Affleck"-- Eh, I got rehired; Eh, I'll never trust the guy again; Eh, let me tell you my troubles.... my miseries.... As though she were just some somebody, and that's all.... The more times you go over it, the more that you realize you were right.... As though it were all just some test in school.... Well, but at least it's a little interesting.... before 2009, then I have better things to do.... *checks the spelling* *sees some 'Irish' speech ad, thanks to the wiki* *doesn't bother with the spelling, in any language*.... {And you know that at every step of the way Oxford University took the worst option that was available to it, (and sometimes that's complicated, with all the competing bad options which conflict with each other, but, somehow they always manage....); it's a log in the river, like Ed Helms.... except for when they can claw a nail into the riverbank.... or jettison the one good thing....}]

[(......) .... and they're stupid because they feel sad, you know. They are bad...... {John and George both like hats. Do you like hats?"..... (re: Octopus's Garden vid) This video ruins the song." uploader reply: "I totally agree." (+21)..... *John Lennon is wearing a hat* *Mozart, (master of music, aged 7), is eating ice cream* John: So that's how we did 'Because'. Mozart: *blinks* So you made Beethoven, good. John: I guess you could say that. Mozart: *gets up, walks over to John, hi fives, returns to ice cream, hops back up*..... *after several minutes of silence* Mozart: *eating ice cream* I lived to be thirty-five. John: I lived to be forty, and I got a monument. It's called Strawberry Fields. Mozart: Oh yeah well I got a monument, it's called.... MOM WHAT'S MY MONUMENT CALLED.... (later) Mozart: It was probably that same guy, don't you think. John: I try not to think about it. Mozart: I bet it was that same guy.... (later) Mozart: *gasps* You and George are both dead!; you were both wearing hats! John: *laughing* No, it was the shoes! ^^.... Mozart: *laughing* I guess that Paul was the only one who knew how to shave, right. John: *peeved* Shut up, I'm John Lennon. Mozart: You should buy something expensive, like a grand piano, and then--like, if he's like, You!-- say, "I'm--" John Lennon: No, no. Mozart: You know, my friend Joseph lived in this house in the woods with only the forest creatures as his audience. John: You're one wierd kid. *tries to think of a time when he was in the forest that sounds even better*.... One time, we couldn't even go outside-- George explained it once, it was-- Mozart: In my time, Outside was too big not to go into it. John: *pauses to consider this* Is your like, mom or whatever, coming home soon? I don't know why I agreed to this. Mozart: *refers to ice cream* Share cake? John: What?.... }]

[{.....} And then we have my friend the fanatic, who's always going on and on *and explaining things*-- the most mundane things, as though he were a character in a science fiction show-- (I heard somebody say that once, even, this FDR aristocrat liberal/Trekkie-- outlined all of it in a Asimov-type "story" centered around a modern airport and two "people" taking a trip.... (the people who explained to me what a "theme" is and all the rest of it, were a lot like Asimov, but even, or, once, you figure out what they meant, well.... you just can't give them any credit for doing the worst they could've, that's all....), and then concluded his little tirade against himself with a glare at somebody else, or else a smug little grin, I couldn't even tell).... and always in this really *grumpy*, grumpy-dwarf voice, like we're all *imposing* on him, for *making* him.... make us, listen.... to the little dwarf who lived alone by the river.... ALMOST NOTHING LIKE A STOCK-BROKER.... Oh, good, keep knocking over my stuff, you stupid oaf.... Yeah, Mean Mr Mustard really *is* nothing like a stock-broker, especially compared to some standard-issue FDR aristocrat, lol....]

[! (top youtube comment) "I don't like the beatlhes either.... But I looove The Beatles"(+27) 'What's so funny.... Are you on Facebook?' --My mom, the beatlhes fan.]

[{SHE'S SO..... HEAAAVEEEY!!!!.... Yes.... yes....}]

[!! A MUSICAL JOKE, EIN MUSIKALISCHER SPASS, K. 522. Yes, my friends.]

[~ STRAWBERRY FIELDS. NOTHING IS REAL. ;0]

[!!! Paul: Why don't we go to Wimbledon. John: *looks at him.... for several minutes* George: He means, like, why. Paul: Well, because we're English. John: *looks at him for a long time, then....* oh god you're right! (caps lock plus shift for maximum effect, lol) George: I thought I was Indian. Ringo: I though I was a character from Star Wars or something. Paul: You know, alot of English people think that they're Indian or American or something. John: Aren't you Irish or something. Paul: Aren't you communist or something. George: Actually there are alot of English people like us, aren't there. Paul: *yeah*]

Well.... I guess I am a LITTLE crazy....]

(10/10)


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Violence On The Homepage

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 19 December 2012 05:17 (A review of Backyard Baseball 2001)

I should have played more games like this when I was a kid-- this was really, really, good.

Question: do they get the Internet in Connecticut? Probably, right.

Recently, someone's list on the Cinderella story got promoted to the homepage, which, unusually, had recently had *more* Disney and innocent things, even though it's usually all about blood and guts, blood in the mud.

This is what I wrote in comment:

"Drizella. That was her name. I forgot what it was and wrote something else like that when I was talking about it somewhere.

BUT YOU FORGOT GUS AND JACK!!!! ^^

Jack is epic.

('I'm Cinderella's friend, Jack!')

But anyway, great job.

Very great job. :)

:D"

And then, since a comment immediately above mine had called it spam, I added (after a line of dots to separate the two parts):

' "I do not want to see this on my homepage anymore."

I don't want to see nazi actors like Mel Gibson on my homepage, you dumb fascist.'

And then, I clicked on her profile, and noticed that it was a 13 year-old girl. And then I thought-- Should I be deterred? What, by Hitler's greatest fan?

So I commented on her profile page:

' "This is spam. I don't want to see this on my homepage anymore."

Maybe you'd rather see some dumb nazi actor like Mel Gibson, you stupid fascist-WANANABE.'

It was just too hypocritical for me. Those of us who don't like mindless violence and gore and stupid blood and mud, *stupid, stupid*, blood and mud, have to deal with what some people do to the homepage every day.

And then they have to deal with something innocent, so they riot.

I'm sorry-- No. No, you are WRONG.

And don't tell me I'm over-reacting: my President (whom I don't care about-- it could have been Romney, *I don't care*-- actually it would have been this guy either way, because of when you get sworn in, *whatever*) is on TV right now, talking about what happened.... and I'm tired of senseless violence being normal, and everything else being an abomination.

And if you don't understand the reference to Connecticut, then you need to check yourself, and I don't care *where* you're from-- I really don't.

(It was on the Wikipedia homepage. Have you heard of Wikipedia?)

Cinderella's friends Gus and Jack would have made great baseball players.

This, and this sort of thing, is great-- it really is.

It's nice.

(10/10)


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A Cynical Little Cartoon

Posted : 4 years, 8 months ago on 12 December 2012 06:22 (A review of Rugrats)

"That's what I pay you for, Jonathan. *Make it work*."

Wow, my opinion of Elaine just skyrocketed.

Is that what I grew up with?

This....

This, cynical little cartoon.

(6/10)


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