Reviews by charidotes20

"Thirty-two softly focused, brightly-colored eyes...."

War is *not* awesome.

And this movie isn't really awesome either...although it's far from terrible. Obviously, some of this has to do with the necessities imposed by reality, which make some of the characters rather unlikeable, like, you know, the black dictator asshole.

Incidentally, if you search for the "Sixteen Military Wives" song on YouTube, you'll notice that it's posted by someone called, "KillRockStars", (it's nice to see that peaceable and orderly conduct is really taking off...along with a *touch* of confusion, perhaps), and that right above it is an ad called "Navy Jobs For Women" (yeah, look, uh, USN, thanks for protecting me from terrorists and stuff, but...sometimes you suck, okay? I'm just sayin' that's my opinion, and if you don't like it...go debate it with your Army buddies, okay? No, really, tell me more about your high-tech pride, and the war in Kuwait...it's quite a fiasco, I hear, over there in Kuwait...yeah, maybe we should attack some coastal countries so that our Navy guys can get some "work"--after all, they can't get shoved a thousand miles in-land like the "Marines" can be...)

Anyway, the part of the movie that stayed with me the most--for some reason, even more than the crap with the kid soldiers--was the part where the one US military guy (it's hard to remember classifications, and it's a little boring, after awhile, listening to people debate whether the Special Forces dudes should be their own deal, or attached to the Army or the Navy or the Air Force or the Marines or NASA), gets literally made deaf by the sound of his buddy's (standard-issue M16 rifle, using super-duper NATO rounds, blah blah blah) rifle going off right next to his ear one too many times....It reminds me of this WWI doc I saw this one time, where the old veteran, a kinda thoughtful old guy, talked a bit about how all the noise and the artillery fire made it impossible to think, the noise made thought impossible....(and, you know, for me, it also brings to mind that episode of BSG, where the bombs explode on the aircraft carrier--their own bombs, that they were storing in the hangar deck or wherever--and they exploded and killed about sixteen of their own pilots...)

And, yeah, I say we can only hope that, one day, these guys from Somalia or wherever spend their time trying to make it to the French Open, so they can test their mettle against the likes of Federer and Tsonga, instead of trying to kill each other, or us.

But, in the meanwhile...it is true that it's not a terrible movie, not at all, and you can learn from it....

P.S. Seriously, though, next time someone bothers you to hell by chattering and clattering and making noise for no good reason, imagine how much worse it would be if there were some guys shooting each other from behind street corners and shit a block or two away. Kinda makes the noise pollution of your neighbor's lawn-mower or your sibling's gossiping seem bloody trivial, doesn't it?

........

"If America does, and America can't say no....
If America does, and America says, It's so--it's so!"

*snaps fingers* Don't even think about it. *snaps fingers* Automatic.

Because at least this way you won't go deaf, right? ;)

(7/10)

I'll admit that my attitude towards this movie has changed somewhat since I first saw it.

Before, yeah--Oh! 'Hot Chicks' instead of 'World Report'! Oh *yes*, ***very*** droll, perhaps someone would pass me a scone?

But, now....eh, World Report...eh.

I mean, manners are pretty cool, absolutely, but....I'm not sure you learn them from newsmagazines. I'm actually not sure what I've learned from the newsmags, really....hot chicks, however, have taught me some stuff.

So, yeah....manners, okay. Newsmagazines....I'm not so sure. Everyone who reads sports or fashion stuff instead of news is stupid....no. Sorry, that's just, no. (Grammar is also, sometimes, yeah, but--not as important as manners, no; they're really not the same. Altho I'll take grammar when it helps me; I like semi-colons, for example.)

And sometimes repetition, although very simple, is a useful oratorical thing: manners are necessary, but I'm not sure you learn them from newsmagazines. (Or from labeling all the dirty plebs as stupid....after all, people who are coarse aren't my *favorite* people, but there's something which is worse, and it starts with an "h"....)

Anyway, it's not a terrible flick, and it can be somewhat funny. However, I don't think that it's a real comedy, IMO, because it's just too much of a fako courtroom battle....but it is a very light and easy drama. I just personally think that there's a difference; I mean, comedy can be abrasive too, sometimes, but sometimes, even something which is funny is still not quite comedy, not quite not-drama if it's just so....dramatic.

I might be miffing my words a bit, here, but that's really not the same thing as being fake.

And, you know, I suppose you could call it a snob's comedy.

Or, more technically: sci-fi comedy. After all, sci-fi is so awash in drama, and, you know, married to the snobs, so, sure, from that angle, it's comedy. After all, I'm not saying that the two categories aren't a bit fluid.

You might find this all, a bit ironic, but it's all IMO.

And, anyway, I've seen movies that are worse, in any event, despite the fact that the sci-fi prophet angle wears a little thin sometimes. That's right, in 500 years.....all new people.

Anyway.

And, you know, one aspect of it is perfect, perhaps unconsciously so: he starts out as an **Army librarian**?

Yeah, sometimes I think, that that's how I started out too.

Anyway.

And, basically, at the end of the day, not everybody has to be Stephen Hawking. (And I actually don't really like Stephen Hawking....if everybody took the snob's view of sex, only Stephen Hawking would benefit.) You should be able to respect a man who is a sportsman.

Yeah.

So maybe, yeah, not the most terrible....but mildly terrible.

And, incidentally, the most favoritest tactic of the average intellectual who's got a hankering' ta tar-an-feather some-body, would be ta call 'im a racialist, as dey say in de Angle-lin. But....

And yet, if one were to take the premise of this movie literally, one would need assume, that the reason why the birth rate of the Republic of India is so high, is because the people there are...'retards', as they might say in the States. And yet, I'm sure we would all agree that such a proposition would be absurd, *racialist*, and grotesque in the extreme.

And, you know, I guess you'd also have to agree that the reason why the Japanese can't distinguish between their 'r's and their 'l's is because they're stupid. Ditto for the Scots dialect, (which makes Robert Burns and probs a bunch of other Scottish poets, nothing but a bunch of morons), and even, from a sufficiently radical point of view--Dutch. (What is this? 'En'? Ye denae write it 'en', laddie, ye write it 'as Ah-En-Dee. Dee, like Dundee, see! So denae gimme dis Flemish nonsense lad, or I'll kick yer hide de way dat Robert the Bruce tanned teh English hordes o' darkness!) {And, incidentally, that is, in a way, a caricature of the whole 19th century, esp. in European countries like France, where people learned that the only 'proper' French was spoken in Paris....*but*, it was a great century for compiling dictionaries...the usefulness of which have yet to be determined...}

*But*, maybe I should forget about all of that last part....I'll forget, give it the benefit of the doubt, and say that it's merely....mildly terrible, that's all.

Update: No, screw this, this is DRAMA, not comedy!

(6/10)

Doo doo doo *doo*, Inspect-or Gadg-et, doo doo doo *doo*, doo doo. Doo doo doo....

Fuck.

Oh well.

(8/10)

THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN. ONE'S A GENIUS, THE OTHER'S INSANE! THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, THEY'RE PINKY AND THE BRAIN, THEY'RE PINKY, THEY'RE PINKY AND BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN. Da na na na na, na na na na, na.

And by the dawning of the sun, they'll take over the world.

.....

But, oh my god, they called The Beatles-- the English rock band, the Beatles-- a "youth craze". How cynical and evil-- to lie to the children.

(And anyway, it is just about taking over and shit.)

Demoted to average.... anybody could do that. Anybody.

Because John Lennon is much cooler than you'll ever be, you goddamn lab rats.

("Love is old, love is new.")

Love will have been old, love is going to be new.

Whatever.

You're still all fucking peasants to me.

0.o

(8/10)

I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW.

I never watched it, I have no knowledge of *any* of it, I don't remember them going to Aspen, I don't remember them talking about the Donner Party, and I *totes* don't remember that stylish French dude that they met when they either were or were not in Aspen.

And, you know, Aspen is in Colorado; they said so on 'Monk'.

(7/10)

Hello, little girl, my name is The Artist. Because I am The Artist, I create pictures. This is, you might say, my ancient profession, yes. Pictures, they are what I create. And painting, that is how I make them, and I call them "paintings".

Little girl, these words might not fit okay inside your head, but fear nothing! Our oeconomy being this primitive, we basically just use you to fetch water and shit, any-way.

But! You must remember that I am The Artist! And, since I am The Artist, I draw pictures, very very slowly. If you draw something, you might go at, say, average speed, but this this is Holland Many Years Back, and since I am The Artist, I must create the painting very very slowly, and using, eh, how you say, a very, eh, slow speed.

Yes, I am The Artist, and I will be creating you as Girl With A Pearl Earring, but only very very slowly, gradually, and using a rather slow speed. You accept this, little girl, you, eh, sit still, and, additionally, we please ask, that, perhaps you try to be as boring as possible, just the way I do for you.

After all, we would not want them to think that this Dutch land, it becomes feisty, eh? No, not in these ancient times.

And, with these sayings being downloaded this successfully, we are now almost ready to begin the process of very-slowness.

*'The priest is here to see you'*

Oh, okay, fine, let him in; I am practically a priest myself.

.....

P.S. Don't bother with Flaubert, either.

(7/10)

I realize that it is somewhat non-standard to comment on a film that I only *have a desire* to see, but...

I would like to see it, to practice my German, and to learn about history....

Although I'm not sure I trust those historical-scientific Germans to do it right, *but*...I can give them a shot at it, right?

But what's really amusing, is that I came across this because I typed Buffy, just Buffy, since I'm a lazy boy, but, instead of getting the Vampire Slayer, I got this *other* Buffy....

"The other Jane", if you will ^^

And her profile page led here, though, oddly enough, I don't see the link back to her profile from here, if you know what I mean....

It's like some odd fairy's trick....

Oh, and, BTW, the trouble with studying other languages for the purposes of reading things discreetly is, of course, cognates. ;)

I liked Xena a bit better. {A little bit.}

And, for that matter, I like Twilight alot better.

And, for that matter, I don't like Mr. Rupert Doestoevsky, or Charles Dickens II or Napoleon III...or, uh, who was that dead woman poet?

"Time turns future into past...."

And, for that matter, I like Seinfeld better, but even Seinfeld isn't new anymore; it's old-school.

But, you know, the classics never die; they just decay and decompose, and start to smell.

But they're not *really* dead, no, no, how could you say such a thing....

....

Which is my way of saying that, although I know that some people might say that this show, does comedy too, or whatever-- like, what, Doctor Who? I've even heard people say the same thing about Clint Eastwood, for crying out loud.

And *that*, *is* funny-- ha.

And I'm pretty sure that Alyson Hannigan likes her new job better.

"No, you're not a New Yorker until you've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks."

Because Robin doesn't kill people; even Barney doesn't kill people.

And Ted doesn't kill people-- and, do you know what? I like Ted.

*Barney voice* Do you know what? I like you, Ted. You don't kill people.

{P.S.: And "Firefly" sucks too. Call it my, witchie intuition. Hell, and I won't even watch "Thor". This guy, plus Kenneth Macbeth? No no no no. No. (And then he went in the "My Week" movie, the fetcher! Well, if there can't be a good relationship, then there's sure to be a bad one!) It's like the line from a million movies: "No. You've said enough."}

(6/10)

Some shows which are basically average, or mediocre, are occasionally exceptional.

But, you know....

I only hope that I'm not being too candid for the British....

.....

"Let us, tell you the *first*, journey of men....journey of men....the first, the first *murder*..."

Yeah, I know, sometimes I'm inappropriate.

But, you know, once I heard a guy say that, what you need is, "an automatic bullshit detector--Oh! *she* wouldn't go out with *him*!"

Because I don't think that the good Doctor (the hologram? the mutant? the Russian?) is really being straight with us, until he tells us what his 'lady with a dog', *really* thinks of him. I mean, I know it's fun to say, "Who da man? I da man", but sometimes the BBC (careful with the article, there), isn't always "a ray of sunshine, on a cloudy day".

I mean, sometimes I just want to say: "they could build monuments to your self-centeredness".

And, maybe they have.

And, you know, I know as well as anybody else, how much easier it is to be fake.

And, yeah, sure, here and there, it really is exceptional.

(7/10)

This show kinda sucked.

But, at least the captain-actor did a good job in "The Informant!"....

And, you know, I feel like this show could have been something special....*but*, it wasn't.

Yeah, I feel like Archer and the cute Vulcan chick could have really come together to do something amazing....*but*, they didn't.

Archer: Engage....Warp, Zero.

*Coke Zero ad flashes on the screen, as consoles explode and dudes get electricuted*

Ensign: Captain, it appears as though someone has stolen the warp drive.

Dude From Other Movie: It's Whitacre! He says he stole the Warp Drive a whole week ago!

(6/10)