Reviews by charidotes20

This is Jersey, yo. This is real.

And, yeah, they're a bit hard-boiled, but...this is what's out there, guys.

This is, just, it.

And sometimes what's it, is what's been right in front of you, the whole time. I mean, isn't the hardest one to look in the eye--the elephant in the room?

So I try to watch it sometimes, plus the Orange County one....a couple different things.

I saw some of these movies, but not all of them. It's actually kinda difficult to remember which ones are which.

Actually, one of the main drawbacks of the HP stuff is that there's just too damn much of it. There are too many books, and they're too long. The movies are a little easier, but...there are too many of them too.

I think I did see this one though...I think it was one of the better ones.

If I recall correctly, it's kinda fun, kinda easy, and it sorta works.

And, you know, it's easy to let yourself get sucked in, out of all proportion to the actual value of the thing...and I sorta did get sucked in...for awhile...just not, *for each and every one, one after another*.

They really should have cut the series-length in half for quality control, and maybe about three-quarters of the heroics, the-school-is-in-danger, only-you-can-save-us stuff. (How many times did you save your high school from imminent danger?) But, obviously they didn't do any of those things.

But, at least, this time around, it sorta worked.

In the end, it is what it is.

.....

P.S. although, I am cruel enough to remember, that the phrase, "Harry Potter Fan Club", appears in Book 2. A certain Gilderoy Lockhart, no?

(8/10)

Since I never *really* read the play in print, I'm glad, especially glad, that I got to see the film version. They did a very good job with it, and, yeah, especially Kenneth Branagh.

I really do think 'Hamlet' is a good story...and I always kinda liked Hamlet.

(9/10)

This was a pretty cool film, that did all the basics well enough, and had some cool stuff too, like some cool lines:

"All the bright lights...and everything I hate. I just wanted to be left alone."

"*Don't*, *question* me, Vaako! {pause} Take it...on *faith*."

And, yeah, before I was a Purifier...I was unpurified.

N.B. I did not know that this was a sequel, and I do not care if they make one for it.

(8/10)

Worth watching.

"When was the last time you looked at your life and saw nothing but fraud."

Well, I use that Cicero pic as my main profile pic on LibraryThing, so....

Also, I think it would be awesomely cool to have George Takei as my economics prof...but I think that I already had him for political science.

Also, I think that I'm gonna have to hold a grudge against Julia Roberts from now on. I really don't like girls who talk/act/are like George Takei. ("They call them smartphones, but only dummies use them in my class.") Sry.

And, no, it's not a real sport. But sometimes, performing arts are better anyway. ;)

Also: Tom Hanks is pretty cool, and having him join a gang or something is good times.

Lance Corona, that's priceless.

"Yes, Lance, you need a haircut."

So remember: "I'm tough, but fair."

Seriously, though, Ms. Roberts should have really gotten herself a date with Doctor Bashir up there...if she only realized.

Of course, in real life they're all too busy not giving a damn to creep in on your personal life.

But it's a decent movie. Especially if you learn to ignore the scenes with George Takei or--especially--Julia Roberts.

She deserves to date the Gene Rodenburry edition of the Canadian blogger dictionary. :P

Seriously though, sometimes you gotta, "Be! Be! Be! Aggressive!"

Anyway, I think it bordered on the mediocre...but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, since at least it's not a Star Trek movie, y'know?

(8/10)

The first Rule of Robotics is:

You ain't got no human parts.

The second Rule of Robotics is:

Youse made, all of metal, and shit.

The third Rule of Robotics is:

You a hard-boiled egg, man.

Yeah....I think I just removed myself from the Isaac Asimov Fan Club's mailing list.

Sry. ;)

I'm also starting to guess that I hate this director: I've seen three of his movies...and, well, I wish I hadn't, basically.

And, you know, I like Robin Williams and Sam Neill, to a certain extent, but God knows they've been in their share of flunks and flops, y'know?

As much as it might have enraged me, once upon a time, to have admitted it.

And, you know, some stories really do come true, but the one about the Robotic Methuselah of the "Golden Age" is really one that needs to take a nap.....forever.

No more Golden robots, no more Golden Methuselah.

"Next!"

(Because, after all, who needs to be golden-white when you can be, uh, fleshy pink, or, uh...whatever. "Sometimes white, and sometimes red".....remember?)

P.S. And was this seriously made the same year as "Galaxy Quest"? I think that one was looking back, and the other was looking ahead....

(6/10)

(British voice) *fingering a scone* Oh, yes, it was *terribly* well done....perhaps a bit of a bore though. I mean, a *tad* hardboiled...wouldn't you agree?

Oh, here, take another English muffin, lad, cheer up....

*reverses from British to American accent, like a reverse Jamie Bamber*

Yeah, I mean, if you *like* the old-school, hard-boiled stuff, then this is totes the movie for you....

But, that's not my thang.

I mean, you can talk about how it was all technically NASA-grade (or BBC-grade) back in 1968, but, that brings up the point: 1968 is a long time ago. And if anybody ever tells you that anything labelled as a "classic" will never decline in its popularity or suddenly have its flaws and defects come out in a way that they didn't before, just because it's "classic", well....that's just a deluded false belief.

And yeah, I know that this director has done some stuff which I really do think is excellent....but I just don't think that this movie, is that.

And, in a genre already taken with drama, dry drama, and technical detail, and dull technical detail of the technical specs of imaginary robots and quotes from imaginary documentaries...(and encyclopedias, maybe?)...because it *was* already like that, back then--no, it was way *more* like that back then, *before* Star Wars...or Star Trek, even....

"It's like throwing gasoline on a flame."

And, you know, it's also a great example of this sort of, basically, snobby sci-fi, even worse than Patrick Stewart's campy Shakespearean Trek, this sort of "hard", hard-boiled, *way* harder than RDM, even, who, let's face it, is kinda hard.....and yeah, I'm sorry I'm being a bit of a Revan here, guys.....but, yeah, it's just this let's-win-awards, lets-show-the-NY-Times-that-were-real-hardcore-nerds-and-real-snobs....and, you know, the guys at the NY Times, or BBC, or whatever, are *never* going to respect you guys or think that you're "real" snobs....that's why they got their fancy uni job, or paper job, *or whatever it was*, so that they could be the "real" snobs, whereas you guys are just the "wannabe" snobs.

And, you know, to me, and a lot of other average "average", "normal" people...or, okay, sometimes wannabe-average, wannabe-normal....you're uh....still snobs.

*British voice* But cheep up, Yank, if you can't muster together the sterling to go on the Grand Tour, you can still go see Shakespeare in Plays in the Park, eh?

*British voice de-activated*

And, yeah, if you get all the way to the end, you get the funny line... about the door.

And, you know....if you're *really* clever, you might find a way to connect the "theme" (basically: "the thing it's really about", the thing, basically), of betrayal (via the robot), with, uh....well, certainly not with what I just did to you, eh?

*British voice* Here, have a scone and some jam, Junior....

....although, actually, I think that that movie was somewhat better. And it was also *not* sci-fi....kinda.

P.S. I suppose it's also as good of an example as any of the sort of sci-fi guy who thinks he's destined to become "a sort of minor prophet", but, I don't know. Really? I mean....

Really?

(6/10)

When I was a kid (I was about 10 when this came out; I think I was in middle school), I watched this movie *a lot*. I never thought that it was great, or the best movie ever made, but...something just made me keep coming back to it. It just seemed sorta natural to watch it every time it came on TV. I also saw it in theatres...even in school. I must have watched it at least a dozen times, if not more.

And I finally figured out why: it's unique. It's a sci-fi...comedy! That's right, in a genre entranced by drama, often quite overblown drama, this one is *funny*. And in a genre full of people quite taken with the genre, this movie makes fun of itself...and, in a way, the audience! And in a little subculture of reality, a little world unto itself, quite taken with the institution of the franchise, and, in a way, almost born to nurture franchises...this movie is, yeah, very light and flip about franchises and their tropes.

And, yeah, like I said, it's basically an average movie in a lot of ways...but it is, though this sound odd, a unique average movie. And maybe that's what sci-fi should aspire to, in a way....the characters, the plot, and so on, are quite serviceable and sturdy, in a way, without being shockingly innovative, but the concept of the movie itself was a bit of an innovation, at least for this genre...

Know what I mean?

And: again, I don't know if the cast was really better or worse than the casts in a dozen or a million other real-world, general, sort of comedies and genres, I mean, *dramas*, but...one choice was interesting. Tony Shalhoub, ("Monk"), plays a supporting role--he's definitely not a lead, but, if you think about it...it is an interesting choice.

And, basically, I think, yeah, it's just a solid, competent movie that maybe you don't need to be a fanboy to watch and like...and, yeah, *not* live your life around.

So: when you're deep in the claws of despair, wondering if sci-fi (as good a name as any, though I don't like to write it out, since I've never seen the "science" in it) will ever claw it's way out of the pits of self-defeating nonsense it compulsively throws itself into: take heart!

"Never give up...never surrender!"

After all, the guys on the Starship Galaxy Quest, or whatever, were just as clueless as you, but, somehow, they managed to pull their ass out of the fire.

Yeah, they really did a decent job of it.

(8/10)

Minions.

"They're my...cousins."

*A minion drinks an anti-gravity beeker and starts to float...and then goes out of a ceiling window*

Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that.

Gru: Do the effects wear off?

Dr. Nefario: From what we've seen...no.

And (dancing!) boogie robots!

Gru: No! Cookie robots! Not boogie robots! Why are you...so old?

Dr. Nefario: (serious) I'm on it.

I also liked the girls...even though I actually think that the Moon was my favorite character.

You know, aside from the minions.

Margo: Can we get stuffed crust (for the pizza?)

Girls, and random minion: Oooo, stuffed crust.

Gru: I will stuff you all in the crust!

That bank guy was wierd tho: look at how small his eyes are compared to the size of his head.

And...

"I am not Victor anymore; Victor was my nerd-name; now I am Vector."

"Just wait until they see my new weapon: squid-launcher!"

Also: that's some hardcore poetry they got goin' on there. Also, the "Swan Lake" thing could be, like, a "Black Swan" tie-in. ;)

Anyway, it's kinda cool how the dude from The Office made himself sound so Russian.

And when the Moon went back to big. The Moon does that, you know.

"I call it the Nefario Principle!"

And, you know.

Minions.

(10/10)

This is, like, the best movie I've ever seen in my life!

"Let's go show those boffins what's what!"

"It's only impossible if you stop to think about it."

"But Frankenstein and a jellyfish, that would be a different matter."

"Sorry Vicky, but dodo's off the menu!"

(Not to be confused with Vika! ;)

And, yes, it even breaks Seinfeld's 'No hugging, no learning' rule:

"It's not about the prizes and the awards...it's about who you are inside."

And yet--does the man-panzee teach you anything about ancient society? No! He's just your friend and he helps save the day!

And it's really all about Polly...although I also like The Albino Pirate: blond hair, red eyes.

And it's great how The Pirate Captain calls The Pirate With A Scarf "Number Two" as though we were on the deck of the Enterprise.

And: true story. I was at the mall, so I went to the theatre and I got a ticket for "The Five-Year Engagement" (which I'd actually been waiting to go see). I went into the theatre which I presumed corresponded to the one I had the ticket for, although for the life of me I couldn't find the display-y thing to confirm it. It was a Monday matinee, and the place was deserted, totally empty, like a bomb hit it. I suppose the previews should have given something away, but they were all so cute and funny; I liked them. And then the thing started, but it was kinda special, and so it wasn't like I was going to go back and bully the ticket guy who gave me the weak directions as to which door to go through. And, and! I started to cough about the time when Number Two is convincing The Pirate Captain not to give up on adventuring, so I sucked it up (...yeah!) so I didn't have to leave or disturb the other person (more or less singular--yeah) watching the movie.

Well, there was one person behind me, and one or two in front of me, one of whom was texting at times, because you could see the glow of the screen. I didn't mind...,it was like a faint glow of life in a vast ocean of empty space.

All that's true though; I'm not nearly creative enough to think up something like that. I'm only surprised I was gutsy enough to go through with it. I mean, you can't get in trouble for that sort of thing, can you? They're not going to haul you out of the theatre, kicking and screaming, for buying a ticket to one show, and seeing another? They're all the same price, aren't they?

*shrugs* I felt really good about it though. I'm especially happy that we got Polly back. Polly is our friend. And man, when I left the theatre, I felt like I was living for the very first time. I felt so special and happy about who I was.

"They're not scientists; they're Girl Scouts!"

"They're not Girl Scouts; they're pirates!"

I'm the Pirate Of The Year!

And pirates don't need any royal pardons. ;)

(And, you know, the Pirate King was a great Master of Ceremonies, and Vicky even had a decent bust, but, you know, there are just some things that we *don't* need from the royals...which is why pirates want to be outlaws--we want to be ourselves! Like Cossack rogues! And sometimes even "bearded ones". "Can anyone bring me a towel?" So let Vicky have fun with the Russians or the Portuguese or the Welsh instead...which is why it's good that the pirates could punch her in effigy, and good that Polly could bite her on the nose, when QV tried to use her against her friend!)

And anyway, it's actually a great piece of (animated) historical fiction...it's better than "Pride & Prejudice", even....

Yeah: this is my idea of a date movie. :)

(10/10)