Reviews by charidotes20

Techno-babble happy. And goofy. But entertaining.

"This is becoming a speech."

"You're the Captain, sir, you're entitled."

"Hmmm. I'm entitled to ramble on about something everyone knows."

....

"Make it so."

......

I mean, I don't know what else to say-- that's more or less what it is, and that's about what I think about it. (It's mediocre, not less or more-- I'm not changing the rating now, because it's right.) {I actually shortened the title because it was too long and it was running into that sidebar, but I guess it would have been fine either way....}

But if you read some of my other reviews of things you might be able to pick up what I really think of Patrick Stewart; I don't know how else to explain it.

.....

Okay, I'll do it anyway--

".... because, the sky is blue, it makes me cry...."

Patrick Stewart: What is that strange noise? (Did someone steal my copy of Bach's Requiem?) .... It sounds like some strange, Justin Bieber-like, gay band!

John Lennon (disguised): Actually, it's a song, Because, by The Beatles.

Patrick Stewart: *bullshitting mode: on* Oh, well, they're pretty good too. ("Almost nothing like a stock-broker.")

John Lennon (disguised): All you need is love.

Patrick Stewart: *still bullshitting* Of course! Just like in the, I mean, in Hamlet, where the Prince says--

John Lennon (not disguised): I am so much such a better propagandist than you.

Patrick Stewart: *doesn't even notice* No, that's not what he said....

John Lennon: *sighs* You're 'right'; Paul and I are a little different.

Paul wouldn't have even bothered, lol.

Patrick is mediocre.... that's all.

(7/10)

Ah, Gawd. This is really my mom's show, so how did I get sucked into it? How did that happen? I don't even really like it. Ugh.

I guess I just wish Jeff (the guy in charge) would just be nicer to the people he works with, he really lacks common courtesy most of the time. Although, I suppose he has a rather difficult and stressful job, and I suppose he does the best he can...and he does a decent job, sometimes. And his assistants can be kinda cool sometimes. It's also interesting learning about houses in an incidental kind of way. Well, almost.

(7/10)

This would have been great if they had done it right. I mean, if they had some idea how to make a video game. The storyline was awesome and intriguing, the cinematics were wonderful, but the gameplay was atrocious. The mechanics, the interface, even the programming--there were tons of game-destroying glitches--that made it impossible to get anywhere in it, practically speaking. The sequel, Arthur's Knights II: The Secret Of Merlin, (I was given both games as gifts at the same time, for Christmas I think--a long, long, time ago, btw) was basically the same story. If they had done it well, it would have been amazing. As it was, well, it was basically a big tease, lol.

....

Worst puzzle game of all time.

(5/10)

Way too Hardcore for me. I'm sure the Hardcore RTS crowd loved, but I was a little cowed by its intimidating complexity....

The campaigns were kinda cool, as far as storyline go, although they were too hard for me get very far. I like the Greek campaign for all its awesome primeval primitiveness, and the Russian campaign, although absurdly difficult in an already absurdly difficult game, sounded pretty cool, at least from what I can gather. Something about Russian tyrants and Russians fighting Euros and Russians building time machines because they don't trust their robotic successors....you know how these things go.

....

(Well, I don't.)

(Although, you know, the *music*.... *rolls eyes*)

(do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do)

(x1000)

(6/10)

It's alright. It's fine, okay? Ugh. Okay, okay, it's fine. It's okay. It's alright. You win, it's alright. I don't hate it, you win, you win, it's okay. It's alright.

Really though.

It's a little, like: 'We, the women of the posh, snooty club, do declare and formally set forth that we do desire to be pampered and spoiled by rich men (and their polite servants), and that we do disdain to care if they be tyrants or predatory rulers over the people, for as long as they're nice to us. However, as soon as their tyrannical attitude becomes a problem for us, or in any way inconvenient, we will not hesitate, except that we will issue a blanket condemnation on all men everywhere for our predicament, including all the guys we rejected and stepped on to get where we are now. Insincerely, Catharine of Russia & Carlota of Mexico.'

Then again, not everyone is Anna fucking Tolstoy.

So, I didn't hate it.

It was a little bogus though.

.....

But, you know what? Actually, I did....dislike it.

A movie like this is supposed to be funny or enjoyable.

Instead, it has lots of bogus drama, and it's basically full of itself and afraid to be happy.

Seriously: if going on vacation gives you this much grief, then stay at home and play tick-tack-toe, or something.

P.S. Sounds like the director was a bit of a budget choice, too. Which is ironic, if you think about it...but, then again, somehow I'm not surprised to see that these girls haven't been able to find themselves a good man.

....

Just one last bit, because I really am tired of people telling me that I can't say what I think: hypocrisy isn't funny. --Oh, if a man doesn't like my stupid book about some random bullshit I know nothing about, then that means he's afraid of my power as a woman!-- Really? I mean...really? I mean, c'mon, let's face it, bitch, you're the one that's afraid.

Bitches talk about smashing the glass barriers, and think that that makes them hot shit, but I think that that's a damn ugly metaphor....and I think that bitches cut each other with that broken glass.

And then, although I do try to be optimistic about people who aren't retards, and in general, I watch hypocrites who don't believe anything, or think anything, or even let themselves feel much, do the whole--oh yeah, I'm good now, I don't have to be angry anymore, and I don't have to be a hypocrite anymore, I'll just be smashing and fantastic now, like I've always been.

And I think that what they're saying is bullshit.

It's funny how slow some people are to change, especially when all they do is tell everybody else to change....that's how I look at it, anyway.

....

Ok, you know what? I give up; I hate it.

.....

I'm tired of making excuses for people just because they can't grow the fuck up.

I've met geese that are smarter than that.

(4/10)

Funny. But so fake.

It's cool though.

(7/10)

"Friends living in Manhattan obsess over little things." (LocateTV)

It's not perfect, but it is very good.... Not least because this "show about nothing" is still something that people think about, and, not only that, but.... something that sorta defined or introduced, even, this whole sort of comedy, this quiet, day-to-day, sort of thing.... 'quotidien'--daily, quiet....

So, yeah, I like Seinfeld; it's good. It's funny. George is funny, (very earnest, almost).... I (try to) like Elaine.... Kramer is crazy, but that's OK, (with Kramer I don't know what's real).... Seinfeld is kinda cool. And so is Jerry.

(At least compared to the other Jerry. ^^)

(And Seinfeld is like the name guy.... and he has the show.)

And don't forget the Soup Nazi. ("No soup for you!") Now, that episode was special. :)

(And it is a bit of a classic, 'although' of the most down-to-earth kind....)

And it's not perfect, (no kissing! no learning! or whatever the rules were), but it's also a whole era of time, really, 1990-2004, the 90s-and-early-00s, or whatever.... I mean, it really was....

{*Is looking at the list of Seinfeld episodes on Wikipedia* LocateTV lied! Seinfeld aired from 1990 (or 1989, ok, whatever) until 1998, not 2004!}

{*does Jerry Seinfeld voice* This is crazy!}

{"You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean."

"Health cookies. I hate those little dustboard fructose things."

"I just can't believe the way that people are. What is it with humanity? What kind of world do we live in?"

"This could only happen to you."

"Oh, in about five, ten minutes."}

(9/10)

Why do I love "Invader Zim?" Well, let me explain:

GIR! GIR FTW, GIR 4-ever!

(10/10)

Another one of those church flicks I was "invited" to go see, and which I was totally free not to go see, as long as I also didn't mind getting thrown out of the house I was living in at the time. On the one hand, it was about as subtle as the Soviet censors' Creative Writing Academy. On the other hand, it could have been worse--some parts of it were interesting, and at least it did have a clearly defined story arch...albeit the rigidly pre-ordained kind. I dunno, I guess I find the South and Southern people to be somewhat interesting, even though I've never been down there. It just would have been nice if the writers had let the people be people, instead of props in God's plan.

(6/10)

I seriously didn't think I was going to like this movie just because the girl's name is "Juno", but everytime I heard someone say, "Juno, (blah blah blah)" or "(blah blah blah) Juno?" or "(Hey) Juno!".....I was like, dude, Win. (That girl is so win.)

I'm not going to try to explain it, because that would be trying to explain a mystery. And who would try to explain a mystery? Well, too many people, that's who.

It's just too bad that "Bleeker" didn't get a chance to lace up his winged sneaks. Or maybe he did. ;)

And now I got my tic-tacs. :)

And I love Juno. :D

.....

"Juno?"

"No, it's Morgan Freeman."

And do you know when it starts. Autumn. Just like the novel.

And I know that it's silly to refer to P&P as, the novel, since there are actually five other novels, but.

Oh, and remember, kids-- London is a bad bad place. Don't ever live in London, not even Chelsea. In fact, don't even let your friends go to London.

"That was the emotion I was looking for the first time."

And so I watched this again, instead of going for "13 Going on 30", because the thing about Jennifer Garner, ("cool Asian girlfriend"), is that even though she's been in her share of sci-fi comedies, like "13 going on 30", (like the flip side of "The Nutty Professor", lol), and even in a few sci-fi action movies, although only of the comic version sort, it's *not* as though she were in horror movies with Marc Antony, or whatever the hell his name is.... I mean, she's like Winona Ryder, except.... when she's didn't.... Well, it's like "Grown Ups", you know.

"Oh hey, Juno. How are you."

"Pretty solid."

She didn't even know she was sexually active. ^^

".... legal counsel?"

"No, I just need.... mercy. Like, it would be great if no one hit me."

(P&P, Chapter 17: Jane's dialogue).

("Mollior", 'softer'-- "mulier"-- 'lady').

I forgot that I actually missed the beginning of this movie when I decided that it was one of my favorite movies. (The first line I heard was where Juno explains her name.... I appreciate that, Juno.)

"I don't really know what kind of girl I am."

(Junebug, lol.)

But I know that she's not quite.... 'in trouble.'

"Great life supporter, to rejoice is thine,
In arts gymnastic, and in fraud divine:
With pow'r indu'd all language to explain,
Of care the loos'ner, and the source of gain.
Whose hand contains of blameless peace the rod,
Corucian, blessed, profitable god;
Of various speech, whose aid in works we find,
And in necessities to mortals kind...."

Anima.

"So, Juno, first of all, how far along are you?"

"I'm a Junior."

And I mean, I usually don't like movies unless Steve Carell is in them, you know.

"Do you ever feel like you were, born to do something?"

"Yes. Heating and air conditioning."

And, you know, there's something like I really, really like, about Jennifer Anne Affleck:

"She gave you a room, in your whole house, for your stuff. Wow, she's putting you on a long lease, eh."

They should really stop teaching "The Scarlet Letter". ("The 'A' stands for 'assholes'!")

"Hey Vijay."

"Did you hear Juno got pregnant."

"Yeah."

"Did you hear it's yours."

"Yeah."

And the way that they do Juno's girlfriends, is like, perfect.

"Wow, look at that big head; it's freaky-looking."

"Excuse me, I am a sacred vessel."

This is the way that people really talk.

And you know what's fucking great-- that I've been about Juno for so long, that I really forgot that everyone thinks that she's~ really beautiful, and really mean.

And I know exactly why, but.... let's not talk about that.

And it does make sense. Jennifer Anne Affleck can be a serious beast.

(Commercial~ Husband: You don't have to scrub it before you put it in the dish-washer. Wife: Yes, you do! Husband: No, you don't! Wife: I've washed a few cupcake tins in my day! Expert Lady: Can I? He's actually right. (commercial) Husband: So I was right. Expert Lady: I've gotta run.)

There's a reason for it all though.

"'What To Expect' says.... it's called 'nesting'"

And you know the part where Jen feels Juno's belly? Do you remember how Jennifer Aniston was the girl in "Office Space"?; "Band of Brothers" wasn't Ron Livingston's best work, I think.

(The end of a cosmetics commercial: "We're worth it." Really. The girlie. Alright.)

The wizard of gore vs. the witch project

And it's wierd to know that my lady Juno can be a bit of a fuck-up, too.... for awhile.

For awhile.

"Mark, do not divorce your wife. Just do me a solid, and stay with Vanessa."

(One time I got really upset about Tully, although I didn't keep whatever I wrote....)

"(Your music) is just noise."

"Like what, be a rock star. (That) is something that is never going to happen... Your shirt is stupid. Grow up."

"Guys, luckily you're friends with a former Boy Scout, who is always...."
"Unpopular."
"Beaten up."
"Going to the movies with his mom."
"A Boy Scout is always prepared."
"Prepared to spend his lunch in his locker."
"Prepared to die a virgin."
"Prepared to paint his sister's nails."
"Prepared for emergencies. That's why, a week ago, when Irene was a tropical depression...."
"You're a tropical depression."

And I used to be a doomer, although I don't recall my surname ever being "Mosby". ;)

And I'll give you the reference for that last block quote, just for shits and giggles. (I mean, I'm not trying to build a bibliography here-- 'oh here, here's a page to sign, and another page, and more pages, and a book of pages....')

~"How I Met Your Mother: Disaster Averted (7.09)"

"I tried to run away from home once. I don't remember why. I didn't get far."

"I just need to know that it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever."

Juno.

"The cooling gales thy pow'r alone inspires,
Which nourish life, which ev'ry life desires.
Mother of clouds and winds, from thee alone
Producing all things, mortal life is known."

"From ages of time, from mother to maid,
Holy knowledge was maintained,
Born in the blood, a common dream,
Shaped by fate and what has been."

"And also, I think I love you.... You don't even have to try."

"I try really hard, actually."

You have no idea.

"Just because you made a mistake,
Doesn't mean you have to tremble and shake:
You can learn from your mistake."

~Barney Not-Stinson

(Barney's gay black brother, lol.... And, do ya know how Allison Hannigan's hair was *black* when they were in college?)

....

"But he figured it out anyway."

That's my god.

"I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else, but you."

"I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else, but you."

("Give me everything tonight.")

(10/10)