Reviews by charidotes20

And I thought this was going to be good!

....

Before there was the "arrow in the knee" comment, (which I only know about because of youtube), there was--

"Join the Legion! See the world! Freeze your arse!"

Oblivion.

(6/10)

Malus: Victoria & Albert

Bonus: It was interesting to see the relationship between the Queen and the Prime Minister, since the Prime Minister, after all, must enjoy the confidence of the sovereign.

Malus: I was saddened to see that Lord Melbourne's character was never really fleshed out... it was mostly just Evil Politician Melbourne = Bad, Pretty Boy Albert = Good. And Peel was basically ignored.

Bonus: I was amused to learn that in the 19th century, even rioters wore top-hats.

Malus: Victoria topples an elected government by refusing reasonable co-operation with the incoming Prime Minister (Peel), then later complains that she's being oppressed by those wicked men just because they don't want it to happen again. Honestly, if you want to be an absolute monarch, just marry that Prince of Prussia you were dancing with before, and set yourself up in Berlin. But in England, there are elections, and by right and by law they ought to be honored.

Consolation Prize: You get to learn a little bit about her miserable, English, stifling/smothering childhood, where she couldn't read novels or go up or down the stairs without holding her nurse's hands, all of which undoubtetely paved the way for the mistakes, failures, and hissy fits of her young adulthood.

....non-sequitur:

Bonus: Who is King Leopold? FEGELEIN, FEGELEIN, FEGELEIN!

And who's Prince Albert? Wickham! WICKHAM! Boo! Hiss! Wickham! Get off the stage! OFF THE STAGE, WICKHAM!

.......

And, you know, fucking *Wickham* was up there, pretending to be fucking *Ghandi*; I wanted to strangle him.

(6/10)

Hey, this was cool. I know alot of the Fallout purists criticized this game as being too much like Morrowind; I can definitely see that it is alot like Morrowind, at least in mechanics, but I don't know enough about the Fallout franchise to judge whether or not this game is a miserable failure compared to the previous games of this series. Although I thought exploring post-apocalyptic Washinton DC was slightly less fun than exploring Morrowind or Cyrodiil, it was still pretty darn cool.

....

Anyway, Morrowind is somewhat better.

The thing about this game, is that it's.... irritating.

Like, I don't *want* to fight another Super-mutant. Like....

*Can I please just go outside without there being a Super-mutant (!) there, waiting for me, ready to rip my arm off?*

Although, you know, when that didn't happen-- life was swell.

And the opening credits song was special! *crazy face*

(7/10)

More martial madness, more grim glory. This time from the Imperial Guard.

....

Eh, *but*.

This isn't so much 'RTS' gaming, as an 'empire' game.

(And faintly fascist.)

(5/10)

The Space Marines are grim glory at its finest.

....

Eh, *but*.

It's not so much 'RTS' gaming as it is an 'empire' game.

(And faintly fascist.)

(5/10)

Hey, we're gonna make more subtle and cute and everything. No, you're not. But like the old man said, who is the greater fool, the fool, or the fool who follows?

....

We tolerated too much mediocrity.

But I was always a big sucker for it, because I was curious-- always trying to find the perfect one, wants to know about all the different kinds.... wants to know if the variation really is slightly better.... ready to listen to technical arguments to the effect that it is.... yup, I was a sucker-- and, you know, I didn't really have enough else to do, somewhat.

.... And wow, they released the expansion in the *same year* as the original game (February, October-- 2006)-- and that was one of those things that I didn't pay attention to, if you know what I mean.... (By contrast, it took me a full year, over a year, to get around to expanding this review)

And what else was going on in 2006.... Steve Carell in "Little Miss Sunshine".... Season 8 (the penultimate, ultimately) of "King of Queens"-- well, in February, in October, they were in hiatus....

You know, we really did tolerate too much mediocrity in this stuff.... Even "Barbarian Invasion" didn't really improve "Rome: Total War", let alone this slop, to a game ('SW: Empire at War', just listen to it!), which is just a fun.... little ditty, in its better moments.

Just different enough, although with a hint of that throwaway quality, lol.

Yes.... we accepted much mediocrity, and rarely were our expectations exceeded.

(6/10)

Not especially unique, but that's not really such a bad thing. It was fun, there were no game-destroying flaws. Being able to command both 'naval' (space ships) and land armies was pretty cool, and the hero units were pretty cool. Straightfoward, but good.

....

*smirks* I wonder how much production time in a game like this goes into naming units.

A generic criticism for a generic game, lol.

Sry.

Calling it slop is too much, maybe, it's just that it's a fun little throwaway of a thing.... something like that.

(6/10)

But this was supposed to have been good! Oh well, at least the backstory was kinda cool. (And look at that guy's eyes, the guy on the cover. Look how he kinda stares into your soul, right? Do you think he gets a bonus to his diplomacy or something because of that? 'Stares Into Soul' +10% Diplomacy. C'mon, right?) And, you know, some of the ideas would have been cool, if they had been executed right. But...they weren't.

(6/10)

Disappointing. I mean, it has its moments, but for me, it is not the equal of its predecessor.

(7/10)

Brigade-level US Civil War turn-based tactical deal. Fun, in a '2D' kind of way.

....

Basically, just....

Especially weird and disturbing. lol.

(5/10)