Reviews by charidotes20

It's kinda cool, but not really. I mean the backstory is kinda cool (we'll have this one race which is basically those Italian Renaissance guys, and this other one, that will be like the Aztecs, plus these desert dudes, and they'll all fight each other)...but it's really not. It's not that cool. It gets old fast... and it's basically just RON (Rise of Nations), only not as good. And the plot/campaign story kinda sucked, actually.

(6/10)

Another one of those Best Games Of All Time that I thought was kinda so-so. Although I did like the mission where all you had to do was defend a fixed position (your base) for a set time (30 minutes, I think). Yeah I know, heresy, heresy--bite me.

....

Actually, alot of these empire-style games where you had to have your base ready to defend an initial attack within two minutes, kinda irritated me. I preferred the other kind, where you had as much time to think as you needed, better. But, this other kind was more popular, and they were somewhat similar, so....

You know.

(6/10)

This movie is...yeah. No. Why? Well...let's look at the checklist. Special effects, check. Extra special effects, check. Super-special special effects, with glitter and icing on top, check. But what about, say, plot? Or character development? Realistic sequence of events? No? What about two out of three? Or one out of three--anything? No? Damn.

Oh, and this was the guy who made "Stargate", the movie, as well-- that explains alot, I think.

(5/10)

The gameplay seemed average, navigation was difficult, combat could seem excessively challenging at times...and I did not finish. But the story/backstory--City 17, Ravenholm, good stuff, right?--seemed kinda cool, and the characters were cool. I mean, Gordon Freeman, Alyx, the G-man, come on. So, overall, it was decent, I guess.

....

And, if you think about it, this game bridges the divide between shooter fighting games and, (sharp object?) fighting games, since he starts with a crowbar, which he thwacks people with, and only later does he get the pistol.... The pistol looks so cool when he's holding it, but the sound that it makes when fired is quite unsatisfactory.

And the game itself kinda sucks too.

(Even though the wierdos and the zombies provided occasional entertainment.)

Even though the laws of physics are scrupulously referred to.

Except for.... the gravity gun!

Wow, what kind of awesome game is this, which pertaineth to a gravity gun, *weapon*!

Not only can you levitate objects with the gravity gun. You can actually use it as a weapon.

"Wow, is that the laser? It's bitchin'."

"Yes, in 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretical foundation for the laser in his paper 'Quantentheorie der Stahlung', his fondest hope was that the resulting device would be 'bitchin'."

"Well, mission accomplished."

*Sheldon looks at him in surprise and confusion*

(6/10)

The part in the beginning in Stalingrad was great, but I don't think I bothered with the rest. Great cover art tho. Very intense.

....

Shooters are stupid.

'FPS'? More like.... fighting.

But this isn't "The Last Samurai".

It's more like, the zillionth zerg.

(6/10)

Just another WWII FPS, really. Forgettable, but fun while it lasted.

....

Future generations might not even remember, just how forgettable it was.... for a short time.

(6/10)

Same basic stuff, plus new stuff. Good deal. These were some more good times.

(8/10)

I liked the Greek girls...but not because they were hot. No....no.

.....

*smiles* And samurai.

It's a fighting game.

And it's a bit better than the Arena in 'Oblivion', too.

Bright and absurd, a touch of the thespian.

(8/10)

original title: Vader's Fist: The Kill Ratio

As good as the original. For once adding new add-ons and doo-dads actually did recreate the original experience in a new way.

And, as a matter of fact, the sequel actually was actually much better in one important way: the campaign was very well done. All hail the 501st Stormtrooper Legion, Vader's Fist!

.....

*Arnold voice* I just want the little children to stop crying!

(*obnoxious little bitches* "Cinderella! Cinderella!")

Somehow, this game made sense to me because it was so easy for me to get killed.

(If only they hadn't yelled at me when I was just playing my little baseball game.... *Holy shit, leave me alone* .... Sweet Lord, just don't let that little demon be there when I come back from my walk, I can hardly take it.... "It makes too much noise!".... And I used to be such a sweet, quiet little kid, what happened to me.... 'I just don't understand why you can't tell the difference between me and your step-father....' Ah, is it because you asked him to bully me on your behalf, (so that you didn't have to listen to my little baseball game), and then pretended that you didn't? Oh, I thought that you forgot about that. I mean, sorry. Oh, I just thought that you were an idiot, that's all. It's like Susan's new boyfriend has got to protect her from her old boyfriend, who just happens to be a little bit shorter than he is, that's all.

Some people. Are Not Real.)

(*she walks past* *switches to picture of Disney princess*)

(I heard on youtube that radio devon played "Here Comes the Sun" straight after the eclipse in 99, and that they thought it was a metaphor-- I think that what they were trying to say was-- The Beatles made it all the way to America, and they even made it all the way to Devon.... "And I Love Her".... I love you, Cinderella.)

(.... Girlie....)

Did you ever play this game, and then the screen froze in the middle. Like the whole TV just froze. That wasn't fun.

So. Like I was going to say.

The bad thing about this game was how easy it was to get killed.

Like, you think that you're doing great, and then you get killed.

{Or even in KOTOR II-- "You have died. Would you like to *reload from a previously saved game*, or return to the main menu?" God, they killed me; they really killed me.... They killed me, and all of my friends.... It's late; I'm going to go to bed!.... Man, I didn't think I was going to die that time.... (Or that other time.) Sweet, I've never been to Vivec City before. Let's check out the Foreign Quarter and maybe find out where-- "It's 11 o'clock! Time to go to bed!!!" God, where did you come from.}

(Also, there's no way to stay alive if you're a Jedi-- it's a suicide run. I'm not sure exactly how to explain it.)

And then you get angry about how many times you get killed.

And then you "respawn".

But once you get killed once, you usually get killed a couple of times in a row, in my experience.

And I really didn't want to get killed that many times, it ruined my numbers.... And if you get killed, it ruins the run that you were having....

You get killed alot.

It's easy to get killed.

You die alot.

It wasn't always fun.

It was.... average.

That was the other thing about it, was so average, it made it kinda easy.

It was unreal though-- oh it's real, I can really die: No, it's unreal-- because I thought that I was doing great, and then I was suddenly dead.

Like, a plane dropped a bomb on me, or something.

Like, what the hell was I supposed to do about that.

That was off my fucking map.

I don't know exactly how I meant to explain it, you guys.

(6/10)

I played the game before I watched the movie. (I'm wierd.) It was kinda fun, even though I died alot...And I normally try to be very careful, in most games. The element of exploration made it feel almost RPG-esque, even though it's definitely not tactical. The missions/storyline was pretty cool....driving around NYC, mowing down civilian accidently, even though I tried not to, was kinda goofy. You could accidently (or "accidently") kill a lot of civilians before the police started to get angry...although I remember being chagrined that killing female civilians got you *twice* as many the-police-doesn't-like-you-points (or whatever the hell they were called) as killing male civilians did. (What, isn't my life worth anything? I'm gonna write a letter to someone, lolz.) But anyway, gradually taking over different fronts & rackets from rival families was pretty cool, although I kinda tried to do it gradually so as not to start a mob war. What, you're angry with me just because I'm trying to drive you into the dirt? What's with that? Anyway, it was very fun, in an unfocused, diffident kind of way. Like this review, I guess. ;)

......

NO.

And you know-- mafia manners. That's right, fuckers on youtube, talk like they're in the mafia.

And they make me become so angry.... I just got in all down on paper, but I'm sure that you couldn't print it.

It's like exterminating parasites or something, you have to drain the swamp-- exterminate them.

You talk, like that, to me-- you're my enemy. Forever.

The fucking blind thug starts attacking this random girl for no reason, and I say something to the punk, so he says that I'm, get this, "projecting", like some big word he learned from his fag mafia friends who don't know what girls.... are, even.... when he wasn't getting cut up by broken bottles and getting his face mutilated-- god, I hope-- in fucking barfights, the mafia trash, this big bossman, right, that we all have to look up, and when he's not doing that, he's learning big dignified words like, "projecting"....

Projecting. Oh. Is that I'm what I'm doing.

I'm "projecting", because, actually, I'm the rapist, even though you're the one with the baseball bat in your hand, and the girl's blood on your fucking rags.

No, really, though, you fucking slug, you fucking nobody-- you have no life, you're good for nothing, and nobody likes you. You're worthless. So, sure, go join the mafia-- I'm sure they recruit moron bullies like you every day. Every fucking day.

Go ahead, do it. What, you're not chicken, are ya.

Go ahead, do it.

And cut your eyes cut in a bar fight. Get your eyes cut out with a broken bottle in a bar fight.

For me.

Do it for me.

Fag!

That's why you bully girls, you little fag rapist.

You wouldn't know what else to do.

Oh, and that's right, you can't even see them.

You're blind.

And none of us, are going to help you, horseshit.

Me?

No.

You, actually.

I'm telling you.

You're worthless.

You don't have anything better to do.

I'm telling you, you don't.

And nobody's gonna miss ya, so don't ya go worrying yourself about that.

Don't you.... dare.

.... I use words like "trash" alot, and I mean it.... trash, garbage.... shit-dump.... mafia, crap.... worthless.

Or go join the army, and be our hero..... Marines, dogs.

Cretin.

(4/10)